What's Up With That? ~ Katy Byrne

Katy Byrne Katy Byrne, MFT is a Psychotherapist in Sonoma, editor and animal lover. Her private practice specializes in: life transitions, couples communication, eating issues, moving forward, conflict resolution and the kitchen sink.

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Don’t bet money, honey

Posted on January 17, 2016 by Katy Byrne

I have an emotional hairball at the turn of this New Year. From holiday frenzy to taxes, trying to budget my money makes no cents. I am spent! Or, maybe I’ve spent too much on silly baubles during the holidays. Sweating tax season makes me as moody as menopause.

Worrying about money sucks my creativity, makes me mad or sad, gives me stomachaches and insomnia. I’m only relieved when “thrift” stores keep their prices low and give me a break.

Do wealthy people worry too? Maybe not as stressed, I suppose they fear losing what they have or death. Anyway, anxiety is a drag. Let’s face it… downsize or right size… it costs money to take care of your animals or go to the dentist. If it’s not a flat tire, it’s a leaky roof.

Savings go fast — if you’ve got them. I wonder, maybe I should have worked at a job I hated for 30 years for a pension. What to do? Work harder? Build a business? Relocate? Follow my bliss? Pray? What’s the plan?

Lots of people are scratching their heads. Some are moving or wondering what to give up or build up. Maybe a new business selling baubles to bauble buyers? Or running a vacation rental before they change the permits?

This economy and how it affects our feelings and wellbeing is a real problem. Even the well-off can’t get through to their doctors or Comcast. I got a call this week from a friend who couldn’t reach his M.D with a scary diagnosis. After days of calling he finally drove to the hospital and demanded help.

When I fought to get my house out of foreclosure I didn’t know what was going on. The movie, “The Big Short” though excellent, didn’t cover the suffering of people in terror. In short it didn’t portray people living in their cars or getting daily auction letters posted to their doors. The days my phone rang off the hook with threats to “take” my house kept my heart pumping.

How do we level the playing field? The gaping crevice between the rich and poor isn’t good. Rich friends travel while the rest of us watch their cats. I enjoy hearing about their vacations, but I’d rather be on one of them.

The big crack in the middle of our society is just wrong. It creates resentment, guilt, despair, addiction and very grumpy people. In “The Artificiality of Scarcity” Eisenstein wrote: “An obscene contrast stands in front of us, if we’re honest: hunger side by side with obesity; drought with flooding; energy shortages with waste; loneliness with virtual hyper networking; crushing debt with huge excess banking reserves; bloated houses with shrinking spaces, animals dying for an earring or for mounting on a fireplace.”

So, what’s the cure? Some say “be here now” and others think it’s about positive thinking or grassroots movement, rent control, moral leadership, religion, rebellion.

Diane von Furstenberg says, “My mother was a holocaust survivor, and having survived 13 months in the concentration camps, she taught me that fear is not an option. And no matter what happens, never be a victim. You are your best friend.” OK, maybe Diane made it big in different times. But, not even working two jobs or having college degrees seems to be the answer anymore.

What to do? I know I got my house back by luck, sheer grit and talking to people, lots of people. Little did I know bankers were busy pulling the rug out from under us, but brainstorming with anyone and everyone got me through. Being transparent and asking for help, reaching out for resources and not giving up. After all, we are ‘We The People,’ aren’t we?




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