Rolling the dice

Lately, life is like a monopoly game. Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. We’re either on lock down or looking for money. Searching for Park Place, stuck on Baltic.

I gobble treats and carbs at midnight to quiet the horrors in my head and it’s not even Halloween yet. After all, pizza is a feminist issue… the munchies are a part of life, right? We each seek solace in different ways. We’re all engorged from something, either absorbing too much smoky air, dumbfounded by the election season, wondering where the next droplet will flow from, waiting for triple-digit heat, a PG&E power shutdown, or some other challenge.

What’s next? Don’t ask.

Though the entire world is threatened right now, this is a doozy of a period to be alive. Talk about living one day at a time. This is certainly it, from a moment of “ahhhh, the power is still on” to another minute of, “what will I take if I have to vacate?” And people who don’t pray much have started, even if they’re just talking to themselves. We face powerlessness and uncertainty daily. 

Today I almost locked my keys in the car while it was still running. Then I skedaddled around the Sonoma Market, looking like Frankenstein’s bride. We are all flabbergasted right now, even wondering if the mailboxes will be there next month. Please Mr. Postman, bring me a letter – with money in it.

I’m hearing stories ranging from people losing their homes in the Santa Cruz area, with hardly a shirt on their backs to a friend who returned to her house where she was traumatized by blaring alerts. For her it was a new experience of not knowing when to evacuate. I was stunned hearing her recount the questions that flew through her mind: “When do I leave? Where do I go?” A familiar refrain for many of us.

It is a vulnerable, eerie time. Just as soon as the winds die down and we can breathe again, there’s some other egg in the face. We’re weary from long day jobs, or worried about not having a job. The human condition is touchy and without much human touch. 

Some of us are understanding more deeply the importance of nature and taking better care of it. Many are appreciating safety in a profound way and huge appreciation for the people who help us juggle these shock waves, the rescuers, firefighters, friends, waiters, workers, and helpers – they are our treasure chests. We are full of gratitude for our every breath. With our new fragility, we know these moments of our lives are precious. 

We will get through this. Just put one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.