Data & Errata

Back by popular demand, here’s a holiday-themed riff I hope will become something of a local tradition. Happy Holidays!
* * *
‘Twas a wine country Christmas and all through his cellar
Were stowed bottles of vino and this lucky feller;
His name was St. Nick and Sonoma his pride
As his schedule permitted he’d come here to hide
My host remarked “Now, don’t judge a wine by its label”
Which made me afraid of ending up under the table
“All things in moderation,” he said with frightful glee
As he began opening bottles – one, two and three!
“Now, Ledson! now, Landmark! now, Kamen and Castle!
On, Gundlach! on, Bundschu! on Haywood and Hanzell!
Let’s pop some corks and fill up our cups
We’ll drink upside down just to say “Bottom’s up!”
Champagne gushed like geysers, merlot poured like rain
Zins went straight to my head and the cabs to my brain
He said “Every bottle’s a vacation, every sip a holiday!”
As he washed down pinot with a fine chardonnay
My teeth had turned purple, my cheeks had gone red
I’d say “Just a taste” but a carafe came instead
His generosity was as grand as his cellar was vast
But who will drive the sleigh after our vintner’s repast?
He tugged at his beard, his sparkling eye winked
“That’s why I’ve got elves, why what did you think?”
Embarrassed as I was at my implied accusation
He guffawed from his belly and poured another libation
Now, I’m not one to moralize, especially in carol
But the fact remains when one’s over the barrel
Designate a driver or a get a taxi on the line
And Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good wine!