Poisoned meatball – not advised
Dear Dr. Forsythe: My white trash neighbors are driving us crazy with their barking dogs. They have several, and when they start barking up the side of our house along the fence, it is so loud. We can’t even use our back yard anymore it’s so noisy. Finally last week I got so tense I marched over and knocked on the door and spoke to the woman who came out—it turned out to be the babysitter so I asked her to please at least take the yappy little dog inside. She apologized and brought the little dog inside, but within a few hours the barking started again. What should I do? I’m about to lose my mind and I’ve even contemplated throwing a tranquilizer over the fence in a meatball to get those dogs to quiet down. I swear, if a mouse breaks wind down our street, their dogs go crazy and yelp and bark nonstop. I do not want to do something I’ll regret but I can’t take it much longer.
Sign me – Has a migraine and about to commit a crime.
Dear Migraine: Whatever you do, don’t throw anything over the fence to “shut the pets up.” That would be considered a criminal act and simply a rotten and regrettable thing to do. You could harm or kill one or all of their pets and I’m sure all eyes would be on you, the menacing neighbor.
I think you made a step in the right direction by going over and speaking to the neighbor, but doing so when you were ready to bust a vein was probably not in anyone’s best interest. Plus, no offense to babysitters, they can be a lifeline to maintaining a happy marriage, but what did you accomplish by talking to the babysitter about the noise problem? That was about as effective as washing your car on a rainy day!
How about trying a calm rational approach by going over one afternoon when you are cool and collected. Show up at the door with a few doggie treats or a muffin basket and a smile on your face. Ask to speak to the lady of the house and make sure it is actually her. Look past the aforementioned white trash – her bleach blond hair with black roots, the 34L boobs being cradled in the bedazzled white home-made tube-top and denim low rise cut-offs just long enough to make a real connection with her. Explain to her that the noise is making life difficult for you and your family and ask if they could try and keep their pets inside more often. Recommend bark collars if need be. Do not breathe in the secondhand smoke from the cigarette dangling from her lips. If talking and reasoning with her doesn’t work, go to the next step.
Call animal control and register a complaint, or call the police. In other words, if bringing Muffie a muffin basket doesn’t work, you need to go to the authorities. If your neighbors are really trashy like you say, there may be little you can do to work out an understanding of mutual respect. I would still ask that you try for the sake of being a good neighbor and pet lover yourself, knowing you do have a back up plan in place. Good luck with the noise issue.
Dr. F.
Dear Dr. Forsythe: One of my seven children passed away last year, and ever since my son’s death I have been spending more and more time in the garden around my aviary. I enjoy my birds very much. The question I have for you concerns my 16-year-old daughter. Soon after her brother passed away, her cat also died, and she has had a difficult time this last year. I know I should get another cat for her, but I am worried about the birds around the house and the aviary. I have considered getting a cat and having it declawed, but all my friends say it is inhumane. I was wondering what your thoughts were. Is it barbaric? I wouldn’t want the cat catching birds if it got outside, and I was hoping that having a declawed cat would minimize that risk. I want to get another cat for my daughter; I think it would help her.
Mourning in Vallejo
Dear Mourning: First I want to give you my sympathy on the loss of your son and my best loving wishes during this challenging time with the rest of your family. I can imagine the peace and solitude you must feel working in the garden and being around birds while remembering your son. I can’t imagine a nicer place to be than in a garden while thinking about a loved one.
I think your idea to get your daughter another cat during this time in her life is a good one. I’m not sure whether the declaw issue is important, though. Many cats are very good hunters with or without claws. Instincts and teeth also help cats catch prey, so keeping the pet inside may be the most helpful deterrent from catching birds. However, there are occasionally delcawed cats up for adoption – perhaps this is an option you should consider.
As for getting a cat and declawing him, this can be done safely and with less pain and bleeding depending on which technique is used. Although I don’t really advocate the surgery, when I perform declaws, I use a laser to minimize pain and bleeding. Usually kittens wake up and walk around after the surgery. It is not the dreadful painful “mutilation” people have purported it to be—at least not in my opinion, when kittens wake up from the surgery and begin playing with a toy.
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make. I encourage you to take good care of yourself and your family. I can’t imagine anything more painful than enduring the loss of a child, and I hope that you can continue to find peace, strength and comfort in the future with your pets.
Dr. F
