Sage advice for daughters and sons
Dear Dr. Forsythe: I am writing to ask your advice on how to handle a situation that has erupted with my daughter recently regarding her future. My 18 year old daughter has been studying at Santa Rosa Junior College with plans to transfer to UC Davis and eventually become a veterinarian. She recently mentioned that she is now seriously considering becoming a veterinary technician instead of going all the way forward and getting her doctor degree. I am extremely disappointed with her and told her that I felt she was settling rather than going all the way and becoming the boss. Needless to say, things have gotten very tense around the house, so I thought if you offered some support in my effort to have her go the distance, it might help her realize her potential and perhaps sway her to continue onward in her studies towards becoming a veterinarian. After all, she is so bright and capable that I hate to have her give up before she has even transferred to Davis. Thanks in advance for your support.
– Mrs. G, Santa Rosa
Dear Mrs. G: It is always my duty and my honor to show support for young people entering the veterinary profession: however, my support in this situation goes to your daughter and not to you. I think her decision to become a veterinary technician is a very respectable and exciting choice, and one that you should support, not belittle. Parents who set their sights on having a child grow up to become a “doctor” and then become bitterly disappointed when that young adult makes the choice to pursue something else can do lasting damage from their own disappointment.
I can speak from my years in the veterinary profession that some of the finest people that surround me are veterinary technicians. “RVT’s” as they are known, are as vital and invaluable to veterinarians in their role as paraprofessionals. There are a myriad of reasons a person enrolled in the pre-veterinary curriculum might decide to gravitate towards a registered veterinary technician degree or AA degree. It could be a stepping stone on the way to a BA and eventual DVM degree or it could be their perfect niche. Either way, being disappointed and expressing unhappiness or making your child feel like an underachiever because they have decided to become a veterinary technician makes me feel absolutely heartsick for your daughter. She deserves praise, support, and congratulations for choosing a wonderful career rather than anyone telling her she hasn’t set the bar high enough.
I know this is not what you wanted me to say, but perhaps it opens your eyes to my view of supporting kids and welcoming all people into our profession. Please give her my best, and tell her the pets she will be helping in the future will no doubt be lucky. She is going to be making a great contribution.
– Dr. F.
Dear Dr. Forsythe: Our Rottweiler “Jelly” likes to sleep in our son’s bed with him. The trouble is, our son is only two and the dog is much much larger than he is. Jelly is really nice and gentle, but at 125 pounds, we are a little worried he could roll over during the night and suffocate our boy. Should we separate them?
– Parents of a sweet boy and sweet dog.
Dear Parents: Yes, I would have them sleep separately, at least for another couple of years. Don’t most two year olds sleep in a crib? I’d have the little boy in a crib and the dog below, and then work them together when your little whipper-snapper is about four. If that little man of yours is already in his own bed at the age of two, I’d probably keep the dog out of his bed for at least another two years until the boy is physically bigger and there would be less chance of the huge dog rolling over onto him at night. You should also run this question by the boy’s pediatrician for some expert advice from the human side.
– Dr. F
