Since I launched my Kibble for People idea last year in this paper things have really moved along.
In case you missed that column, Kibble for People is my latest billion-dollar idea. Pibble, as it will now be called, is the fully-nutritional, out-of-the-bag, one-flavor-only food that replaces everything we now eat. No more cooking, dishes, cleanup or long shopping trips; Pibble is delivered right to your door in a convenient 25 lb. sack. Placed in bowls around the house, mealtimes are the thing of the past; feel hungry and just grab a handful. It’s not so tasty that you want to overeat, but it’s not unpleasant either.
Well, the first thing that happened was nothing. Weeks went by and I didn’t hear a peep. The finally, one day about a month after launching the idea I got an email from Healthy Eating magazine. When I saw their name in my inbox my heart began to beat, but what a disappointment! They wanted to know if I’d like to run an ad in their magazine and on their website. “We know you’ll find a receptive audience of healthy eaters eager to learn more about your fine product,” they told me.
Next up was a letter from a maker of cat food. “Kibble,” they said, “is a copyrighted and trademarked term which we vigorously defend and protect from unauthorized use.” Ordered to cease and desist, I hired my own trademark attorney; hence Pibble. Take that cat fooders!
The focus group experience was really something. Working with a company that specializes in gaining public opinion, we rented and staged a house in bank foreclosure in a nice community that shall remain unnamed. Though most of the rooms were kept locked and empty, the family room and kitchen looked lived-in and comfortable. The TV was on, of course, and a nice big bowl of Pibble sat on the coffee table. We brought in family after family, and they were told it was all about TV! Everyone believed it, of course, and we just watched and listened as they too notes, talked and began munching on Pibble. Just as we expected, everybody ate it, but nobody said much about it. A few people asked for some diet soda, but that was it. Perfect!
When we took Pibble to a Trappist Monastery the results were the same. Ditto at a preschool and senior citizen center. But things really began to pop when we took Pibble to prison. The California prison system is in big trouble; too many inmates and too little money. Well, Pibble fit the bill just fine. We offered it for testing at a facility licensed and operated by a private corporation, and boy, were they glad to save a buck. They installed stainless steel dispensers in each cell block, and eliminated hot meals. The savings on food costs and preparation alone, not to mention supplies like spoons and forks, were impressive. Was there some grumbling? Sure, but what would you expect…it’s prison. Two states in the south want to make food stamps usable for Pibble only; now that’s a home run!
So for now, we’ve found our perfect market; captive audiences given no choice about what to eat. Given the world situation – famine, global warming, depleted fish stocks, and disrupted food supplies – we’re just biding our time.
Next year Pibble goes public!
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