Response to Carol Collier

Editor: Carol Collier submitted a complain about dog owners and their aristocratic disregard for the way their quadruped rug warts adorn the sidewalks with such aplomb…

I had a way of dealing with that over in Napa….there’s a place called the ABC Bakery near the Y-intersection of 3rd and 4th Streets….a throng of stink-rich yuppies used to routinely congregate there for their morning latte and scones…they brought their lap tops….and their lap poodles and other pedigreed hounds. At casual glance you’d think the place was a boarding kennel instead of a java-and-pastry joint. The dogs would get into a fight and get their leashes all wrapped around the table legs seventeen times and in one case dragged a chair half-way down the block.

Well, in any event, after jaw-jacking with all their Stepford friends, these poor little rich kids would walk their mutts home and on more than one occasion, the dog would take a pit stop along the way and leave a nice big, fresh squat-fritter right there in the middle of the sidewalk. So I instituted a policy of scooping those guys up with an entrenching tool and putting them in a plastic bag until I had around a half dozen or more and then dumping them right at the entrance way to the ABC while leaving a note and accompanying cartoon on their front door conveying the sentiment that those of us in the neighborhood had toward their stink-rich morning crowd patrons whose aristocratic upbringing rendered them so arrogantly contemptuous of the 99% who have to use the sidewalks their canines try to fertilize.

It stopped…trust me….and the ABC did have some rather large bay windows.