Essential eating: Kristin’s Christmas 101

‘Tis the season for indulging in all manners of traditional holiday happiness: from frosted sugar cookies to buttery Yorkshire pudding, sticky fruitcakes and sweet, liquored up punches.  This time of year, I allow myself to nibble on a little bit of all the nostalgic goodies from my childhood, but only if I know they are going to be delicious, and totally worth the calories.  There are only a few mandatory treats that I simply must have or else my season isn’t complete.

Mom’s Christmas cake: a way better version of the horrid, colored fruit-filled blocks.  Mom’s addictive version is a toasted pecan and cherry concoction that is gooey with condensed milk, held together with crumbles of graham crackers and coconut shavings.  A massive, Bundt pan-sized dome of the stuff sat on our kitchen counter for weeks, the family indulging in decadent little slivers all day long to fuel us through the holidays.  (See the recipe below)

German Pfeffernüsse cookies: these little balls of a heavily spiced cookie dough are dusted generously in powdered sugar, each tasting exactly like what Christmas is meant to taste like.  Wintery and spicy and meant to be dunked in warm, winey Glögg.

Grandpa’s gingerbread: every year grandpa practically trashes the kitchen constructing gargantuan batches of his brick-sized loaves of dense, hugely aromatic black bread.  Each weighty loaf is drenched in molasses and nose-clearing ginger and heaven when nibbled on with a heavily-doused eggnog in front of the tree.

Peking duck: for years, Christmas meant an hours-long lunch in practically deserted Chinese restaurants feasting on a crisp-skinned whole duck, porky dumplings, and bottles of fancy Champagne brought from home.  Now, come Christmas, I always crave those Asian flavors of umami-rich Hoisin and roasted game bird.  And, bubbly, of course.

Honey-baked ham: I remember going with dad to collect the ham every year.  We exclusively ordered ours from the Honey Baked Ham Store, and picking it up was always an adventure.  Police officers were hired to organize the chaos and potential road rage in the parking lot and velvet ropes kept unruly patrons in their proper place in line.  Once home safely, the ham was ceremoniously placed on the table, its golden foil packaging utterly festive and outrageously fancy in our little kid eyes.  A thick, burnished crust of sticky, crazy-sweet something covered the hulking ham.  Honey, I’m guessing.  Ham candy and highly coveted.  We ate that ham for days; with little rolls and Grey Poupon on Christmas Eve and next to mom’s famous soft, cream cheese and chive scrambled eggs Christmas morning.  When there was nothing left except teeny bits of meat clinging to the hambone, which was then tossed into a big pot of black-eyed peas destined for our New Year’s dinner.

Mom’s Christmas cake

• Makes 1 large or 2 small cakes
• 1 pound of crushed Graham Cracker crumbs
• 1 pound of chopped and toasted pecans, plus a few whole ones for garnish
• 16 oz. jar of Maraschino cherries, drained and halved (reserve syrup)
• 1 pound of raisins
• 1 pound of shredded coconut
• 1 can of sweetened condensed milk

In a large bowl (or in the kitchen sink, as my dad used to do) mix together all the ingredients until well combined.  Drizzle the condensed milk over the entire mixture and using your hands, mix and mix until the milk has been thoroughly incorporated into the rest of the ingredients.  Almost kneading it until everything is combined.  Add a very small amount of the cherry syrup to moisten the mixture and continue to combine.  Add the mixture a little at a time into your bread pan(s) or ring mold and using a heavy can or other object, press down the mixture until it’s compact.  Continue to do this until you’ve used all the mixture.  Chill overnight.  To serve, simply cut into slices.

Note: The consistency of this fruitcake is not typical “cake” consistency.  It’s a bit sticky and candy-like.

What I am drinking now: Coquito

I grew up on store-bought eggnog. During the Christmas holidays, mom allowed us kids to greedily suck down the fat-filled, oddly yellow’d version from the Farm Store out of her crystal wine goblets.  It felt immensely special, especially after being allowed to dust a heaping pile of nutmeg obnoxiously over the top.  I eventually outgrew the unnatural flavors of the grocery store versions and started experimenting with my own homemade, boozy versions of the traditional eggnog.  Then, when yearning for something more exotic, I played around with recipes for the spice-laden Mexican rompope and, for years, I perfected bourbon-heavy, cream-filled batches of a New Orleans milk punch; gallons of the stuff gracing a shelf in my fridge for most of December.

This year, though, I am craving the warmth of the tropics — as I often do as our temperatures plummet — so have begun whipping up pitchers of the traditional holiday libation of Puerto Rico, the Coquito.  I can almost hear the rustling of palm trees, the sand crunching between my toes, as I sip this frothy concoction of coconut milk, warm island spices, and white rum.  Enjoy!

Puerto Rican Coquito

Serves 8

• 1 (12 ounce) can evaporated milk
• 8 whole cloves
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 1 (2-inch long) piece of ginger, peeled and sliced into 1/4-inch rounds
• 1 (15 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
• 1 (13.5 ounce) can coconut milk (not cream of coconut)
• 1 cup white rum
• 4 large egg yolks
• 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
• 1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
• 1/8 tsp. fresh grated nutmeg, plus more for garnish

Bring evaporated milk, cloves, cinnamon stick, and ginger to boil over medium-high heat in small saucepan. Remove from heat and steep for 30 minutes. Strain milk and discard solids. Cool to room temperature, about 20 minutes. Place spiced milk, sweetened condensed milk, coconut milk, rum, egg yolks, vanilla, cinnamon, and nutmeg in blender and blend until fully combined and foamy, 1 to 2 minutes. Serve chilled and dust with additional nutmeg.

Taste test: Eggnog

I happen to know that all eggnogs are not created equal.  Often, store-bought varieties are filled with strange thickeners and artificial colorings, or fake sweeteners and questionable egg sources.  This year I have taken the guesswork out of choosing the ideal nog to nip while decking your halls and smooching under the mistletoe.  A few friends and I sampled the best varieties in-store now and, below, share our definitive guide.  Find each brand locally at Whole Foods.

#1. Straus Organic Eggnog.  I was not at all surprised to discover that our favorite, hands down, was the glass-bottled version from Straus Family Creamery.  The purest of all the mixtures sampled, there isn’t anything in Straus’ nog except for organic milk, cream, egg yolks, and nutmeg.  The flavor is fresh and creamy, super milky, with only a delicate egginess; it could have even used a tad more egg to make it the absolute perfect nog.  The cream is heavily speckled with grated nutmeg and screams for a good glug of brandy, which we added, of course.  Although not traditional, Straus’ eggnog certainly is a festive, fancy treat.

#2. Traderspoint Creamery.  This all-natural, organic brand from Indiana is also packaged in a pretty glass bottle and is the nog we voted closest to the quintessential, store bought, eggnog.  It has a yolky golden color, with a pleasant cream flavor, and that, somewhat questionable, but recognizable viscous consistency from childhood versions.  This brand won for the nicest combination of meeting our wish for tradition, although remaining natural and not overly fake tasting.

#3. Organic Valley.  A nice combination of creamy old-fashioned flavors, although a faint plastic taste mars this otherwise nostalgic tasting, gloriously syrupy, egg-filled mixture.

#4. Clover Organic.  Clover’s version is definitely for the person who craves that eggnog from your past; all natural, but strangely artificial tasting, with a peculiar gelatinous quality that store bought nogs always seem to possess.  I expected a more wholesome flavor from Clover and was surprised at the added ingredients that thickened and colored the organic cream, milk, and eggs.  Strange, but strangely delicious.

#5.  Clover Light.  I can’t imagine why anyone would be concerned about the fat content of eggnog.  This is a once-a-year treat, the one or two glasses you might sip over the holidays ought to be the most delicious glass or two possible and I promise you, this isn’t it.  A strong flavor of plastic permeates the cream and a longish list of fillers and unsavory ingredients make up for the loss of the pure dairy ingredients.

Essential gifting: Bram

For those of you with foodies to shop for on your holiday list, there is no more perfect place to procure that perfect present than from the amazing little shop on the Sonoma Plaza named Bram.  The first time I ever walked in here, I kid you not, I almost fell over.  It is filled with some of the most outrageously beautiful clay cooking vessels that you have ever laid your eyes on.  You will also find an enchanting selection of carefully curated items such as lovely little tea sets, heaping platters, leather handled straw market bags, bags of heirloom beans from Napa’s Rancho Gordo, and pretty, long-handled wooden spoons.  Oh, and the cookbooks?  Sigh.  I could spend all day thumbing through the thoughtfully chosen collection.  The space simply feels soothing, a space to linger, running your fingers over the clay, gazing at the sumptuous colors and textures; this is easily going to be your most calming holiday shopping experience of the season.  The shop is lovingly tended by Ash and Shelly Almasri, both passionate cooks and food lovers themselves, who will graciously offer a slew of tips and strategies when cooking with clay pots or putting together a fabulous gift.  Visit Bram, I promise your food-loving friend will thank me. 493 First Street West, Sonoma Plaza, 935.3717.

Dear Santa,

Of course you know that I have been a very good girl this year and just in case you were at a loss for that certain something special that I would undoubtedly love, here is my dream gift list. I promise to leave you a few bottles of my favorite Sonoma Valley wines in lieu of the boring old milk and cookies!

Merry Christmas, Kristin

1. A semi truck loaded with food for F.I.S.H.
2. The complete Canal House Cookbook Collection from Bram
3. A very large, teal blue, Le Creuset enamel pot from Sign of the Bear
4. A lesson in tamale-making from El Molino Central
5. Ramen, in Sonoma
6. A food and wine-filled tour through Mexican Wine Country
7. A “bake the perfect biscuit!” lesson from the Fremont Diner
8. Finally, a weekend in the Anderson Valley
9. Reservations at State Bird Provisions
10. A jar of Bouchon’s real-deal duck liver pâté