Just when I was finishing this column the earthquake hit. So, now my writing rolls a different way. Good God, what a week! The world is upside down with beheadings, hangings, rocking and rolling in the middle of the night. Everyone I talk to is all shook up — going through change or transition. Is it the economy, ecology, media, astrology, aging or what?
And just as I was writing about how people seem to be seeking safe places to live, affordability and community, the earth under me began to shake.
Everything, from the ground up, seems to be in transition. Marriages, births, moving, dancing, traveling, illness, singing, new jobs, quitting jobs, retirement… I’m wondering, are we restless, like the earth itself, or just trying to find fulfillment?
Are we unable to believe we have “enough” and accept life’s imperfections, or is most change driven by a tough economy or greed? And even while the globe is topsy-turvy there’s a longing for quality of life. While the earth keeps moving, so do we.
One woman stood in line with me last week, agitated. She spewed out her hairball, (venting like cats do) that she’d gotten better service in other countries, and was returning to one. Later, talking to a girlfriend about whether one town is better than another, she insisted that larger towns have more intellectuals and diverse populations. Others disagree.
Still shaky, I recall another pal who moved from lovely Carmel last year to rainy Portland. She’s in bliss. She adores the many bookstores, lectures, community, etc. We are both surprised that charming Carmel wasn’t her match. She’s jubilant in the rain! Sometimes happiness is not what we imagine it will be.
Another acquaintance is tortured as her family is here, but she had such a great experience of community in Kansas.., but oh those tornadoes and mosquitoes. How to make tough decisions about lifestyle, money, home, community?
Some of the risks I have taken made my life shine. Some backfired. Some were off the charts; others off the Richter scale.
All kinds of change is in the air, including finding a sense of place. Maybe boomers need a final nest. A couple of community members moved to rustic coastal towns, with hardly a soul around. I need more action within walking distance.
I hear that people in Costa Rica have great chats over coffee. They can afford to live there, even die in peace. Wouldn’t that be nice? I can’t leave my dogs, so that’s out.
As Mary Oliver said so beautifully, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Some go with the flow, others make goals. I just do “the next step” because I get overwhelmed by decisions.
Do we search for new ground for good reason, or are we distracted by the green grass on the other side? Do unfair politics force painful decisions? Are we addicted to constant change? Are we running away, or to?
Some say a new partner, job or home helps a lot, while others silently meditate. People are inspired to look for the best possible relationships, locations, cars, jobs, house paint, nail polish or fish tacos. And certainly this economy makes many of us to seek new ground. “One in seven Americans, 46 million, rely on food pantries.” (USA Today.)
Decisions or transitions aren’t always easy. Rainer Maria Rilke says: “Be patient with all that is unresolved in your heart. And try to love the questions themselves.” I say, try to roll with it.
Katy Byrne is a Sonoma psychotherapist and writer.
Be First to Comment