Pardon Edward Snowden

What better example of American Values than if our president pardoned Edward Snowden on the Fourth of July?

While that might send local conservatives to the ER with chest pains, it could prove entertaining. Who can forget the outraged lady who, during a Sonoma Fourth of July parade, leaped from the sidelines to attack a passing “Bush Lied!” sign, snatching it from marchers’ hands and ripping it to pieces in a hilarious imitation of a Republican?

Snowden, of course, famously revealed that NSA was secretly scooping up Americans’ private phone data. Cross-their-hearts-and-hope-to-die, they swear that’s all they were doing; no listening, or peaking at nude selfies. (OK, maybe one.)

The DOJ, then headed by Eric Holder, patron saint of Wall Street felons, charged Snowden with these nasties: Theft of government property; unauthorized communication of national defense information; and willful communication of classified intelligence information to an unauthorized person

Savor the irony behind those charges. A multi-gabillion-dollar NSA/CIA/DIA spy apparatus unable to detect the massive 9/11 plot, or find WMD’s in Iraq with both hands, also missed one of its own who was pilfering data from under its very nose.

But we digress. Consider those charges.

Theft of government property. In the briefcases/handbags of Americans leaving the office today are pens, pencils, trade secrets, sweetener from the cafeteria, etc. Swiping stuff from the office is a hallowed American tradition. But query: How does our information, swiped by the government, become government property? Thief: “Officer, I swiped this car, so now it’s mine.” Cop: “Really?”

Unauthorized communication of national defense information, Let’s talk about unauthorized. The defense information in question concerned a program whereby NSA swiped Americans’ information without authorization, better known as a “Search Warrant,” a legal courtesy extended even to drug kingpins and Mafia hit-men.

Willful communication of classified intelligence information to an unauthorized person. ‘Intelligence’ is just macho spy-talk for ‘information’ – an email address, phone number, your hat size. It’s ‘Classified’ if they say so. It’s sometimes stamped ‘Classified’ if those wielding the stamp think the info could send them to jail. ‘Unauthorized persons’ includes those who could send them there. ‘Classified’ can incidentally protect government secrets, e.g., Secret Service calls to Columbian prostitutes.

A court declared NSA’s program unlawful and Congress dialed it back; not that we’ll notice. Phone companies (‘we share your private information with third-party partners’) will now store our data. To see it, spies now need a warrant, available from a Secret Court for the legal equivalent of “Mother may I?”

BTW – The spy-guys have admitted their Putin-esque surveillance hasn’t uncovered any terror plots and that Snowden’s revelations haven’t endangered any U.S. covert operatives.   Except, of course, Snowden.

What to do with him?

Compare: General James Clapper, head of the Defense Intelligence Agency, lied to Congress, denying NSA did what Snowden promptly proved they did. Did Clapper perjure himself in his pants, or is he just clueless? Clapper’s still on the job.

Compare: General David “The Surge” Petraeus, former head of the CIA, passed binders full of classified info. to his lover/biographer, then lied about it. Punishment? Two years probation. Adultery charges weren’t pursued, sparing his $200,000/yr. pension. Snowden sacrificed a $200,000/yr. salary when he blew the whistle.

Countless Americans rot in prison, without pensions, for far lesser crimes than Petraeus’. Granted, many are poor, black and weren’t schtupping anyone as good-looking as Petraeus’ biographer.

Seriously, Mr. President: Pardon Edward Snowden. America needs a really good spy.