Are you ready, legally and otherwise, for romance? A questionnaire

Name: __________________________

 (Check all that apply)

 Gender Identification

Female

Male

Cis Male

Cis Femae

LGBTQ

Other

Stop trying to define me

 

Status

Married

Single

Divorced

Friend with Benefits

Promiscuous

Monogamous

Reasonably Faithful

Meh

 

Sexual History

Celibate, but not necessarily by choice

Sexting

Experimented in college

Been around the block

Usually not until the third date

Harassed

Unharassed

 

Temperament

Shy

Aggressive

Coy

Sarcastic

Sensitive

Funny (when clothed)

Vaguely condescending

 

Personal Habits

Obsessively clean

Slob

Funky

Normal

“Normal”

Drink from milk carton

Always carry exact change

Own more than one pair of bike shorts

 

Sexual Inclinations

Masturbation

Intercourse

Fetish

Roll play

Leave the TV on

Wake me when it’s over

 

Worst Date Ever

Attend City Council Sub-Committee meeting

Goat yoga and kombucha smoothie

Foreign film followed by pretentious analysis and extra-foam cappuccino

Still refuses to drink Merlot

Pressure to ‘get’ New Yorker cartoons

Skin smells of musk and cabbage

Agrees to split the check, then orders more expensive entrée AND a salad

Two words: ear hair

 

The Perfect Valentine’s Day

Champagne and chocolate

Roses and a bubble bath

100 ‘likes’ on Facebook

A firm, hearty handshake

After sex, pizza and a vape

Mutual consent