What's Up With That? ~ Katy Byrne

Katy Byrne Katy Byrne, MFT is a Psychotherapist in Sonoma, editor and animal lover. Her private practice specializes in: life transitions, couples communication, eating issues, moving forward, conflict resolution and the kitchen sink.


What’s with men?

Posted on June 2, 2023 by Katy Byrne

Men are in the news, in the political round tables going round and round. Our era and history is full of angry, crazed boys and men. A big thump on the head to guys that scare and harangue us.

Seriously, Father’s Day is this month. Can we consider a change in the ancient, battling, boisterous, masculine way of doing things?

It’s horrifying and embarrassing to watch such antagonism, awful antics, and anger everywhere. Politics is cartoonish. To see so many males blaming or thumb sucking while insulting each other, taking no responsibility for their actions – it’s too much. 

Not to mention the terrifying debates about our money. We see billions of dollars flying out of our pockets. This goal of furthering profits for only a few, ka-ching, it’s another way to trigger and impoverish scared Americans. We’ve got to swerve this big world ball around.

The narrative needs to change toward a civil way, not a civil war. We need concern for our safety, unification, and the common good.

It’s time to put the kibosh on dividing, destructive acts and language. It’s forehead smacking. By the end of the day, I’m dropping to the couch with a huge ker-plunk and a bag of potato chips.

I believe what’s happening now in our own amped up, huffing and puffing world, is a defensive last gasp of a dying culture of white supremacy. 

My fear is for the vast number of human beings who are just trying to do our best out here. We need to see cooperation, building bridges between us and other countries. Humanity requires a better budget for helpful services and ideas, before it’s too late. Give it up guys, the birds want to sing, the flowers need to bloom, babies need safety.

On an up note, oh my God, Richard Gere is a total stud. It puts my knickers in a knot when I see such a kind, caring, fair guy. On top of his good looks, he’s an advocate for human rights in Tibet – a concerned social activist. I smirk, but I do like men. I’m just saying… fathers, teach your children and model how to manage and regulate the reptilian brain. 

You guys out there have a rare opportunity amidst this gritty era to mature and stop mean-spirited, wishy-washy arguments. Can we please speak and listen respectfully, commit to compassionate morals and decency? 

Aren’t we all tired of the strife and abuses? We’re edgy from news of fighting everywhere, the horrific shootings that make parents scared to take their kids to school. 

So, just one last holy hairball here: The world needs something else desperately. As Terence Real writes, “Sons don’t want their father’s balls; they want their hearts.” 

 Men have learned that feelings mean weakness, so anger is primarily what they access. But, we need mature men who also value vulnerability, cooperation, and communication. 

I miss my dad more every year, even though I really never got to know him deep down. He was among the men trained to be strong, silent types. We long to befriend our fathers, to hear their empathy, authenticity, wisdom, and civility. I still yearn, long after his passing, to walk with my dad to the coffee shop, to talk with him about all this. 


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