Katy Byrne, MFT is a Psychotherapist in Sonoma, editor and animal lover. Her private practice specializes in: life transitions, couples communication, eating issues, moving forward, conflict resolution and the kitchen sink.
Lessons From Elmo – How Is Everybody Doing?
My emotional hairballs often fill this column and there are plenty of them to vent these days. Politically, we seem stalled on the top of a roller coaster ride, life and limbs dangling in midair, valuables falling out of our pockets. We’ve been rocked from plagues, fires, the revelations of Stormy Daniels, and other electoral trauma.
Still, in the midst of it, there are good things happening. It may sound like a tiny thing, even itsy bitsy, but a little animal – a red fuzzy Sesame Street puppet – posed a question to followers recently: “Elmo is just checking in. How is everybody doing?” A simple tweet brought 140 million responses.
Some kids wrote: “I’m at my lowest, thanks for asking.” Elmo innocently cheered a youngster, “You can do it! Try to make a new friend today!” To that, another user replied, “bro, that’s actually such good advice, lol.”
The lesson was surprisingly profound. It’s important to ask your community how they are doing, even if you just have a minute. And according to NPR, “Elmo will check in again soon, friends! Elmo loves you.”
On Facebook, letters gushed in, flooding the puppet’s computer feeds at the pace of wine pouring at a Sonoma party. Wrote one, “Not well Elmo …. I’m coming to live with u on sesame Street.” The fuzzy Muppet replied, “Elmo would love that!” Then came more: “Elmo I’m having a rough time… ” Messages rolled back and forth with tenderness.
Sesame Street producers were so overwhelmed they had to tweet out mental health resources, adding, “God help us.”
When I read the story I was stunned, and not because it’s a new idea. Of course caring and offering support are always replenishing. But, being seen and heard are too rare in our world. I don’t usually promote programs in this column, but it so happens that Lee Armstrong is producing a puppet show Festival on August 2 and 3 at the Sonoma Community Center. How precious to have a place for children to express themselves! Go to,sfbapg.org/festival, or check out SFBapg.org/festival.
Another uplifting message came to me this summer about the power of love, after the announcement of Cecil Williams’ death at 94. It brought me back to truly heartening times. In San Francisco, his ministry at Glide Memorial was a place of gargantuan generosity. Ten thousand members blew the top off the steeple, singing, reassuring and embracing each other. When my parents visited me in San Francisco, we never missed going. We forced ourselves up early on Sunday mornings to trudge through the Tenderloin district to be boosted beyond the high beams at those hope-building, encouraging gatherings.
Cecil held babies in his arms, walking the aisles, hugging us all. The screens up front were full of pictures. Every race and generation was represented, serving food to the homeless or helping to find people housing. It all moved us deeply. Both my parents, usually more stoic, were unable to stop tears from streaming their cheeks. At the end of every service, Cecil stood outside the door and hugged us or shook absolutely everybody’s hands as we left.
Radical reaching has great curative, recuperative power. Keep it going Sonoma.
Sonoma psychotherapist Katy Byrne is the author of “Conflict to Communication – Lessons from Life and My Therapy Office.” Find her at Conversationswithkaty.com.
