Quick: In 45k words or less, describe what the world was like for you and loved ones just five short years ago, at year-end 2017.
You remember who our President was back then. Right – that guy; he’d been in office almost a whole YEAR. It’s hard to believe he’s been gone almost two years now. No, it’s actually easy; and since he’s alive he could come back, as soon as the audit of missing White House silverware is complete.
Nonetheless it’s definitely been a hectic five years, so it might help ease our stress by trolling down memory lane to recall The Good Olde Days when:
~ Parents happily sent kids to school to learn math, English, and mass-shooter drills.
~ School superintendents, principals, and teachers didn’t quit until at least the end of fourth period.
~ Outer space was unpolluted by swarms of billionaires.
~ Police were the Good Guys.
~ Sidewalk restaurant tents, tables, chairs, & propane heaters imparted a quaint foreign air to Sonoma – sort of like Mumbai.
~ Workers worried that they might not find another job if they were laid off.
~ City councilmembers served their entire term, and even ran for re-election.
~ It was not yet popular to announce the sex of newborns with high explosives.
~ Before some local employers admitted that paying employees a living wage was bad for business.
~ Kids were entrusted to the tender ministrations of priests and Boy Scout leaders.
~ Entering a bank while masked would trigger an alarm.
~ The hospital had to beg voters twice before they renewed the tax that keeps it open.
~ Wildfires had only begun to obliterate towns in Sonoma County.
~ Winter flooding was so common that authorities provided free sandbags.
~ Gas was $3.07 a gallon.
~ Republicans walked openly in Sonoma without fear of getting a wedgie.
~ “Armageddon” was just a movie.
Alas, that blissful world seems so long ago. But not to worry. Cable news and local Influencers insist that “A New Day Has Dawned,” we’re still “Sonoma Strong” and “All In This Together.”
Or staying on, depending on the success of vaccines &/or cures for the 28th strain of COVID, flu, RSV, monkeypox, STD, herpes, Ebola &/or Black Death brought home from school by that little brat next door. Or masks could be Optional, mandated only for those allergic to death.
Of course, opinions of local health authorities notwithstanding, CDC is the Official Mask Munchkin, at least for those who still recognize the federal government. Currently, CDC has firmly somewhat impliedly suggested tongue-in-cheek that masks are “nice” indoors but not always needed outside or in big rooms that feel like outside, and definitely not for those with religious objections and/or masks that do not match their outfits.
Yes, times are complicated but it’s definitely not 2017 anymore. It’s still America, so things are still looking up . . . side down.
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