Both before and after all the votes were counted, this year’s presidential election season put an unprecedented strain on the nation’s ability to fully articulate its outrage.
These past many months have left more than a few readers of all political stripes exhausted from trying to express the full extent of their feelings, only to find themselves hamstrung by a totally inadequate supply of obscenities.
The dictionary has been little help. Possibly intimidated by the clerics of his day, Noah Webster’s first compilation in 1828 was devoid of swearwords, making it difficult for generations of young children to become fluent in self-expression. Not so in the Internet Age, where human expression ‘goes viral’ – often with video – is accessible to any youngster with a cellphone.
But 21st century technical advances notwithstanding, “F**k You!” is still the nastiest rejoinder we’ve come across. While the U.S. Supreme Court (yes, those people) has wrestled with whether such language is (a) constitutionally protected free speech, or punishable as (b) ‘obscene’ or (c) an incitement to violence, “f**k you” remains the ultimate go-to rejoinder in today’s political exchanges between citizens who occupy the same country, if only in a geographical sense. Lawfulness aside, there aren’t enough jails to confine all those who’ve used that retort.
But, readers may ask, is shouting “F**k You!” really unlawful? Your correspondent has been conducting preliminary legal research (two glasses of chardonnay) and – so far – the answer is definitely ‘No!’ . . . Well, maybe . . . But not usually! . . . Only ‘sometimes.’ . . Actually, it all depends.
Whatever. Depending on its targeted recipient, a heartfelt expression of “F**K You!” can attract welcome allies or vicious enemies, so it should only be used with extreme caution and at least a glance over the shoulder.
But when all is said and done, it is increasingly apparent that the “F” word – long the nation’s Gold Standard of Cussing – no longer measures up to the political demands of our times.
Yes, in 2024 it has become painfully obvious, even to the least literate, that “F**k You!” no longer has the OOMMPH! that America needs if it is to retain its place among the world’s great democracies. A nation whose soon-to-be-President was convicted of 34 felonies, bankrupted several businesses, was found to have molested at least one woman and was twice impeached when last he was our leader, can surely devise a more powerful, less shopworn vulgarity to fuel a society which has long been the envy of the free world.
That said, what might be done to restore the quality of searing vitriol to the nation’s political discourse remains a mystery. Sadly, a search of the literature from Moses to Shakespeare to the Great Writers of America turns up nothing nastier to replace “F**k You!”
What’s more, upon reflection, it actually seems very un-Christian and illogical – or at least very silly – that a verb which describes the loving act by which all of Humanity’s precious children are conceived should be regarded as a swear word at all.
To the contrary, given the wonder and reverence attached to human procreation by all Americans, especially anti-abortion zealots and religious practitioners from all sectors of the body politic, a strong case can be made that “F**k You!” should finally be welcomed as a Blessing.
Besides, no one is fooled by those silly *asterisks.*
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