By David Bolling
There is a certain cosmic inevitability to the confluence of Kathy Witkowicki’s life and the honor bestowed on her when the City of Sonoma announced her selection as the 2025 Alcalde. More accurately, of course – in keeping with the gender predilections of the Spanish language – she is the 2025 Alcaldesa.
The honor recognizes exceptional contributions, community service and leadership in a local citizen who, for a year, is anointed as a sort of honorary mayor. It’s a tradition harking back to California’s Pueblo period, in the first civil communities during Spanish colonization.
The selection process may be a little Byzantine, but it is the highest honor the city can bestow, allows the honoree to preside over community events, like the 4th of July parade, and it comes with the temporary possession of a silver-headed cane. It also comes with a free, public reception, scheduled this year for March 20 at The Vintage House.
Not a bad outcome for a New Jersey girl, an ER nurse, who liked her Jersey life just fine and did not want to move to Sonoma. “It was not boring, I learned a lot of stuff you could use in the real world, like doing CPR on a neighbor on his front lawn.”
And California was not in Kathy’s plans when her husband, who worked for Chevron, was transferred to San Francisco.
“I don’t like change,” she recently confessed. “I came kicking and screaming. I said I’ll give it a year, then I’m going back, that’s where all my friends are.”
She found herself in Sonoma because, “We couldn’t afford San Francisco and we kept looking farther and farther away.”
They took a week off to get settled, and during the space of the July 4 weekend something magical happened.
“We went to Tahoe, I was skiing on July fourth – in a bathing suit (I have pictures) – then we waterskied in the afternoon. It was one of those unbelievable days. I thought to myself, I am never going back. Plus, Tahoe was one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen.”
So she settled in, started having children (two boys, two girls) and enrolled her first-born in kindergarten at Flowery School. Almost immediately the ER nurse mentality kicked in, she joined the PTO, then she became president of the PTO, then the Sonoma Valley school board named her volunteer of the year, then the county school board named her volunteer of the year for the whole damned county.
“I thought, my God, what is happening.”
What was happening was, Kathy’s relentless energy and radiant glow took over. She spearheaded reformation of the Flowery campus, which produced a grassy field, a track, a soccer field and baseball diamonds. “It was a lot of fun, and a lot of work.”
But that was just the start. Serendipity arrived in the person of beloved Sonoma philanthropist Niels Chew who ended up underwriting her part-time salary to be the first resource coordinator at Flowery School (and in the District). Next, a grant application came across her desk from the State Department of Education with the possibility of funding an academic mentoring program.
So, Kathy partnered with Flowery Principal Sandy Zimmerman and together they prepared the complex application in the course of one day and a very long night, knowing it had to be delivered to Sacramento by five p.m.. At three that afternoon, Kathy began her drive to the Capitol in a torrential rainstorm, during which a big-rig truck jackknifed and blocked traffic. After much delay she got to the proper office with only minutes to spare, parked her car on the closest sidewalk and had the application officially time-stamped at 4:58 p.m.
Three months later the grant was approved, providing $75,000 for a three-year program, and that was the beginning of the Sonoma Valley Mentoring Alliance. It was a modest beginning because there was no office available and for a while she had to work out of her car. Then she convinced state officials to let her use some of the grant money for a portable building, which the Kiwanis Club helped furnish.
When the grant money ran out, Kathy wrote another grant, created a nonprofit agency and turned the program focus from academics to building personal, social, mentoring relationships. That’s where she saw the greatest need, matching struggling kids with caring adults. In five years there were Mentoring Centers at each school in the District and now, some 2,300 Sonoma Valley students have been partnered with supportive adults in what commonly become lifelong relationships.
Kathy says much of her enduring success comes from her ability to attract competent and caring core staff. In response, virtually all of them sing her high praises.
Meanwhile, after her first marriage unraveled, she was introduced to Jon Parker, a San Francisco business executive known universally as JP, who had also gone through a divorce, sold his consulting firm and moved into his country house in Sonoma. JP, who has described himself at the time as being “a bachelor in heat,” was immediately taken by what he saw in Kathy, beyond the blond hair and the radiant smile.
“She loves people, she derives her energy from people, and she’s dedicated to being relevant.”
Their first exploratory meeting was a breakfast where they “talked mentoring for 15 minutes and talked about our lives for an hour and a half.” Something clicked, more dates followed, their kids all got along, they began blending families and then for Christmas in 2006, says Kathy, “all six kids – his and mine – were at the table for a holiday dinner, and the next thing I know JP pulls out a ring, and the kids are like, ‘Yayyy,’ busting open champagne.
The wedding itself was a family elopement. They all went to Las Vegas, couldn’t get the Elvis Chapel so they chose the Chapel of The Flowers instead and got married – Kathy, JP and their six kids. They capped the evening with a midnight casino show.
After a very, very good run, Kathy retired from the Mentoring Alliance in 2015 and then, she says, “I got bored and boring.” An easy solution to that temporary ennui came along when she met two veterans of National Public Radio and, with them, co-founded the Sonoma Speaker Series in 2016. Since then the Sonoma Speaker Series, with Witkowicki leading the way, has brought more than 40 nationally-known speakers to the Sonoma stage, including Huey Lewis, Nicholas Kristof, Carl Bernstein, Andrew Yang, Marie Yovanovitch, Jared Diamond and David Brooks.
It’s an unpaid, volunteer gig, and as with the Mentoring Alliance, she’s exceeding expectations and loving it.
“It can’t always be about the money,” she says of her work. “Sometimes it has to be about loving what you do. I’ve never felt like it’s a job. It’s always felt like a calling. Gosh, I get to do things that warm my heart. I was just matron of honor in my mentee’s wedding. That was such an honor.”
Ask Kathy what keeps her young – she’s in her 70s and could pass for 50 – she does a little ‘aw shucks’ – “I’m really falling apart, I’m about to have my hip replaced.”
And then she explains, “I think I love my life. When you love where you are, when you love what you’re doing, and you love who you’re doing it with. That just works. So does being around people who don’t drag you down but lift you up. I don’t think about aging very much, I don’t have time to, I keep myself busy. And I’m always going to color my hair. I’m always going to try to stay in fashion, because, why not?”
And then finally, she leans into the really definitive questions:
Apples or oranges? “Apples.”
Beatles or Stones? The Stones, because I’ve seen them in concert six times, and they’re still going strong.
Favorite song? “Start Me Up.”
Favorite food? “Pasta (and crème puffs).”
Guilty pleasure? Ice cream sundae every night, on a spoon. I crush the nuts, I do the whipped crème. And yes, I do squirt some in my mouth.”
And ask JP to describe Kathy in a few words, he says, “Empathetically caring. In most circumstances.”
The public reception at The Vintage House, 264 First Street East, will begin at 6:30, March 20. Admission is free and the public is invited.
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