Joshua Rymer (left) and Timothy Frazer are co-plaintiffs in a case challenging California’s definition of marriage.
Ryan lely/Sonoma Valley Sun
Glen Ellen residents Timothy Frazer and Joshua Rymer are among several gay and lesbian couples whose lawsuits were consolidated into the case argued before the California Supreme Court on March 6. The high court has 90 days from that date to rule on whether the state law that prevents same-sex marriage is discriminatory. What the men are personally hoping for is equal treatment and recognition of their 14-year relationship under the law.
On Valentine’s Day in 2004, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom ordered his staff to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. In a flurry of veils, bouquets and tuxedos, many North Bay couples rushed over the Golden Gate Bridge to become a part of this momentous occasion. Rymer, 51, and Frazer, 46, who at the time shared homes in both San Francisco and Glen Ellen, hurried to San Francisco City Hall to apply for a marriage license.
“We were days away from our March 15th marriage appointment at City Hall when San Francisco was barred by the State of California from carrying out same-sex marriages,” said Rymer. “We were horribly disappointed that we hadn’t been able to get married.”
California courts were soon to invalidate all 4,037 marriage certificates issued to lesbian and gay couples. Days later, Frazer and Rymer were asked by the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) to be co-plaintiffs in a case that would challenge California’s definition of marriage. Proposition 22, a voter initiative that stated only a marriage “between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California,” passed in 2000.
The male couple made Glen Ellen their permanent home in 2005 when they sold their San Francisco home. Their family unit includes two Rhodesian Ridgebacks, Jengo and Xena. The men work together at Terradatum, a software firm that Frazer and some friends started in 2001. The company supplies software and database services to real estate professionals across the U.S. Rymer, who received his business degree from the University of Pennsylvania and his MBA from Stanford, serves as the company’s CEO.
Their gay role-model life all started when they met at the gym. “We both knew that we had something special very early on in our relationship and although like all couples we have gone through rough patches, we are both committed to a life-long relationship,” said Frazer. “No one can change that – not even the Supreme Court of California.”
The California Supreme Court heard arguments from NCLR Legal Director Shannon Minter and San Francisco Chief Deputy City Attorney Therese Stewart who represent the numerous same-sex couples. The court will decide if gay men and lesbians are a “protected class” of citizens entitled to equal protection under the law. Factions opposing equal marriage rights for same-sex couples include the state attorney general’s office and the Campaign for California Families.
“We hope those people who oppose equal rights for same-sex couples will look into their hearts and ask themselves: ‘Why is it something that will hurt them?’” urged Rymer. “It’s really simple – giving same-sex couples the right to equal treatment doesn’t take away anything from anyone else and if the tables were turned, no one would accept second-class designation for the single most important relationship in their lives,”
Massachusetts is the only state in the U.S. that fully sanctions same-sex marriage. Currently, Connecticut and Iowa are grappling with cases similar to the California case. A few other states offer same-sex civil unions and domestic partnerships, which is available to California couples who register. Frazer and Rymer have been registered as Domestic Partners since that became possible in 2003.
“While having Domestic Partnership as an option for people in California is a good thing, it is not the same as marriage,” said Frazer. “If you told straight couples that from now on they would only have the option of domestic partnership, while same-sex couples would be able to marry, do you think that they would think it was okay? We doubt it.”
