Bob Ruffner with friends at memorial service for Tristan Edwards.
Photo buy Abdul Bey
This weekend, an extraordinary life of service, dedication and love came to an end. Bob Ruffner, advocate for youth, addiction specialist, and actor, lost his battle with cancer.
Ruffner’s reach in this community was broad. In one aspect of his work, he was a driving force behind Social Advocates for Youth (SAY). “Not only did he work with SAY,” said Celeste Winders, who has known him since she was a child and for whom he has been a model for her own work with youth, “he was SAY. The reason SAY is still in Sonoma is because of Bob. He has been a champion for kids.” Being a champion for kids, for Ruffner, meant being a champion for all the kids, not just the easy ones. “One of the things about him that was so special,” said Winders, “is that he would never pick and choose kids. He loved them all. Some times the harder they were, the tougher their problems, the more he loved them. If they fell, he’d pick them up. He’d pick them up again and again, because maybe the ninety-ninth time would be the break-through.” That is the lesson Winders, former executive director of the VOM Teen Center, said she wants to carry over in her own work. “That’s the lesson he taught us all. He was a remarkable, remarkable man.”
Tim Boeve, himself a tireless worker for the welfare of children, said, “Bob has been one of our tireless advocates for youth. He had a tremendous capacity to reach out and make connection, to do what was necessary to help them. I worked with him at the Education Foundation and he was always trying to convince me that Challenge Day, a national program which he brought to Sonoma Valley, was worth supporting.” Former high school principal Bob Kruljac said, “He was a very caring man, really committed to youth. Always there if there was a kid in need any time or place. He was just a generally wholesome wonderful man. Salt of the earth.”
Judy D’Amico knew Ruffner from his theater days, 19 years ago. “When I first met Bob,” she said, “he was involved with Sonoma Vintage Theater, the group that started Shakespeare in the Valley. He was our treasurer and a performer.” During that time, in addition to acting, he began to be committed to working with youth and studying about addiction problems and how to help kids, even very young teenagers, with addiction problems. “Bob became a member of VOM teen Center, and he did a lot of work in ALANON, a twelve-step program for people who have alcohol programs in their life. For the last 10 years, he was dedicated to going to school, working on a program for credentialing addiction specialists. “He was very dedicated on many levels, on statewide levels,” D’Amico said.
Friends describe him as a very private person, who did not talk much about himself, but who adored his wife, Marquita. “I don’t know that people ever realized how much he valued being of service to others,” said D’Amico. “He was one of those individuals who didn’t draw a lot of attention to himself. It was really about the work. He was someone who was about being in service to others. It wasn’t about being about him. Those who knew him will remember his joy and what a purpose driven life brought to him.”
