For Sale: Business Opportunity

Actually, we’re GIVING the idea away – right now, right here. Read on …
We Americans tend to think that our meat comes from glass cases at the market. But it doesn’t, really. It comes from animals, who were alive for a while and then killed in order that we might be nourished.
We always chuckle about our friend who enjoys fresh crab meat but was horrified when she realized that the live crabs are taken from the tank next to the restaurant’s hostess and dropped in boiling water. Somehow that step of killing the crab hadn’t quite dawned on her.
At the other extreme was a friend we’ve mentioned before who used to take his young children to the supermarket, pointing out “dead cow” and “dead pig” and “dead chicken” – all to the desired reaction of, “Gross!” Not all of his kids stayed vegetarian, but they did develop some appreciation, perhaps as much as suburbanites can, of what meat really is and where it comes from.
But is Sonoma suburban? Do we really not know these things? Or are we rural, and fully aware of how the food chain works?
If local patriarch Bob Cannard has his way, we can soon have the best of both worlds. Cannard has been pushing the city council to allow Sonoma residents to keep chickens and rabbits for food. Add a little garden patch, fertilized with chicken and rabbit poop, and every suburbanite can be a successful farmer!
So, let’s see … we know how tomatoes and carrots get from the yard to the table, and eggs we know how to gather and scramble, but how are we supposed to get the chicken ready to broil or the rabbit ready to stew? That’s what letter writers and others about town want to know, and we do, too. And there, at last, is the business opportunity: mobile butchering.
Once we decide that it’s time for Fluffy the Chicken to be eaten or that Wiggles the Bunny is suitably plump, we would call 288-2437 (another freebie – that spells “butcher”) and get on the schedule. At the appointed hour, the panel van arrives and the man in the apron steps out. (Why do butchers always wear white? Why not just start the day with a red apron?)
Likely, a helper (yes, this business has employees, too!) will catch and kill the chickens, then proceed to drain the blood, scald the bird and remove the feathers and feet, at which point the butcher can take over to gut, clean and take the chicken apart. Rabbits require less work before butchering, but do have to be killed, drained and skinned. When all done, the mobile butcher will leave us with several Ziploc bags of meat, ready to cook or to freeze for another day.
Now, we’ve done little research about the legality of such a business – okay, none. And it wouldn’t surprise us to learn that government at various levels prohibits such an enterprise, or at least regulates it, requiring testing and licensing (and payment of fees). Maybe this situation would be simpler since the butcher isn’t selling meat, just preparing it for our own consumption. In any case, what a useful service it would be. We hope the city council lets Sonoma residents dabble in farming, and we encourage an enterprising person to offer the mobile butchering service.
Sorry if this discussion is unpleasant, dear readers, but killing is a natural part of raising animals for food; it’s an essential step that, while you might not want to do it yourself, must be done. Since it seems like the fad of raising chickens and rabbits is catching on, it’s important for participants to recognize what ALL the steps will be, if they going to realize the full benefit.
We approve of the concept. In our view, living a little closer to the land is good for the soul.