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What's Up With That?

Things unsaid

While we’re swirling from fires and politics – we land smack dab in the midst of holidays, with family and other humans – trying to get along. Relationships are a part of the season, whether we like it or not. If we tell the truth... Continue

Mixed feelings

It’s still difficult to write a column now, after these horrendous wildfires. Moving into the rainy season and holidays, my eyes are bulging out of my head. We enter winter with mixed emotions. I’m sure most of us share more vulnerability while others are grateful.... Continue

In the aftermath

We moved to Sonoma because it seemed safe and quaint. But this fire rocked our boat. It’s been a week of fear and shock. Contrasts like people skidding their cars around corners and cutting people off in anger and stealing, to kind people waiting patiently... Continue

The tree cutters

They were here at 8:30 sharp, as agreed. They didn't want coffee or water. They stared at the huge, looming trees overhead and looked a bit tired, maybe it was dread. They carefully started putting on climber’s equipment, belts and chains and put gas in... Continue

Why the 1960s matter

It was an inspirational, luminous and searing time. People write about it now or have museum shows about it, but I don’t think there’s enough reference to the 60s as a soul-shaking period of transformation. The summer of love gave us unprecedented unity. It wasn't... Continue

What? Me worry?

There’s a lot to worry about, God knows. I just finished Edward Hallowell’s book, “Worry,” and though it brought up some worries, it offered some solutions. too. Hallowell says: “The more you worry, the better you do, up to a point. They key is to... Continue

Relationships 101

 Life can be better as a couple or it can be worse or it can be for better or worse. It can also be very hard work. The divorce rate is above 50 percent for a reason. Nobody taught us “Relationship 101.” As a psychotherapist I... Continue

How to get well sooner

I was scared I might have terminal cancer last year. The doctors and holistic practitioners gave me herbs, X-rays, blood tests and a maze of treatments. My body wasn’t well. I was either plugged up or letting go. (You know what I mean.) I’ll spare... Continue

On being a good (enough) mother

It’s hard to be a mother. I didn't have kids but I have dogs and it’s been a rough month. It started out okay, but then life has its tough spots and so does love. Trying to be a good enough mother is impossible. And being... Continue

When you love somebody, it changes you

Love is no small thing. When you’ve loved and lost anything that was alive you tell yourself to accept loss, to let go, to flow with life’s changing cycles. You get really busy and try to avoid the loss, but when you’re silent or walking... Continue