Dear Dr. Forsythe: I am writing to share my feelings about all the cards and reminders I get from my veterinary office telling me I have to bring my cat in for services. I am wondering if all veterinary clinics feel it is necessary to bombard the patient with a postcard reminding us that a vaccine is coming due, or is it just my vet? I get a reminder telling me something is due, then another one if we happen to let a month go by without calling to make an appointment. If I don’t come in, I even get a phone call at home reminding me that I should make an appointment. What is next, singing telegrams? I realize that these services are important, but can’t veterinarians just let us take our time to come in when we want to?
We’ll get there when we can
Dear Get There: Thanks for a great question. Most thorough veterinary offices have a well-organized method of reminding clients when it is time to bring their pet in for annual exams and services such as vaccines and dental checks. It is generally done through repeat cards and then a follow-up call. This is the veterinarian’s way of managing your pet’s medical care so that you don’t have to worry about it. While reminder cards can be annoying month after month, and a phone call could be perceived as intrusive, you could also interpret this as a sign that your veterinary hospital is well run and cares about giving good service. They may simply want to oversee your pet’s preventive care so that you won’t become a client who only comes in every few years when your pet becomes seriously ill and is long overdue for important services, such as annual wellness exams, vaccines, or strategic deworming.
If you really feel that your veterinarian’s office is “hounding” you for visits, perhaps you could place a call to them and let them know that you will contact them for a future visit when you feel it is necessary. Then, if that doesn’t do the trick, you could send them a singing telegram with the same request!! Good luck!
Dr. F
Dear Dr. Forsythe: I recently had to put my kitty to sleep after 18 years, and I am not coping well. She got me through the birth of my children, a divorce, law school and a severe bout of depression. Even though I know letting her go was the only choice, I keep seeing her around the house, and imagining her still being with me. It has been several weeks, and I find myself breaking down and having a very hard time. I went to the vet’s office to pick up her ashes, but I couldn’t even go inside. I was wondering if you have seen clients that have gone through similar difficulties like this before? If so, what advice did you give them?
Thank you for your column, I read it every week.
Missing my companion
Dear Missing: Yes, I have seen clients go though very, very difficult losses with pets. As with them, I honor your love and devotion to your precious friend who was by your side for so many years. You accomplished so much together, I’d say “life partner” is more descriptive of the relationship you and your cat enjoyed. With a bond like that, it is perfectly normal to feel unimaginable grief when your pet passes on. There is just no way to sugar-coat the loss; it is monumental and deep, so it will take a long time for you to heal and move forward.
In my opinion, the feelings and emotions you are experiencing seem very normal considering what you are going through. I think the key is to self-nurture and allow these feelings to sit within you for awhile rather than to suppress them. Keep in mind that not everybody understands and validates the close relationships we have with our pets, so we don’t always get the compassion and complete understanding we’d like from those around us. That being said, time will heal eventually, but there are things you can do to acknowledge your pet and your intense feelings.
I have had clients who wrote poetry, planted special seedlings, made drawings and/or donated to charity in the name of a pet. A visit with your veterinarian, in person or by phone, may make you more comfortable going back to the office.
Good luck moving through this time. You will be in my prayers and best thoughts, dear lady.
Dr. F
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