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Non-profit agencies to help adults talk to kids during crises

Left: Tim Boeve, executive director of WillMar Center, represents one of the five non-profits that will be participating in the discussion.
Right: David Pier is the executive director of the Boys & Girls Club Valley of the Moon.
Ryan lely/Sonoma Valley Sun

Communication with our children is, perhaps, the most important aspect of our relationship with them. That is true for parents, teachers, mentors and community members in general.
Five of Sonoma Valley’s non-profit agencies have come together to create a joint event designed to help adults talk to kids about the issues that are important to them, and to help quell the fear and misinformation that has resulted from the recent tragedy at Maxwell Park. The session is set for Thursday, Nov. 8, at 6 p.m.
Spearheaded by Celeste Winders, executive director of the Valley of the Moon Teen Center, the meeting will also include representatives from WillMar Center for Bereaved Children, the Sonoma Valley Mentoring Alliance, La Luz Center, and the Boys & Girls Club Valley of the Moon, which will host the event.
“This meeting is a chance for adults to get some support and find ways to talk with kids about this terrible occurrence. So many children don’t know how to process what happened, and we want the adults in their lives to be equipped to help them with that,” said Kathy Witkowici, executive director of the Sonoma Valley Mentoring Alliance. “No one organization can do it all; it takes a community effort on the part of the parents, educators, churches, non-profit organizations and all the people who call Sonoma their home.”
“This kind of collaborative response is one important way non-profits can serve the community,” said Tim Boeve, executive director of WillMar Center. “Each organization represents a different aspect of what a community needs to be well-rounded. At WillMar, we are in touch with teens who are experiencing a variety of issues that profoundly affect their lives, and we can give parents and educators concrete ideas on how to talk to teens in a helpful way.”
Winders has seen first-hand how teens are dealing with their emotions. “The older kids have done a great job of processing information, but for middle school kids, no one is really talking to them and they are not mature enough to work things out themselves.” Winders points out that schools have had so many budget cuts, they no longer have resources to cope with non-academic matters. “The schools are doing their best, but there is only one school nurse in the Valley and limited school counselors. That’s where the non-profits can provide supportive services.”
“Our members represent a real cross-section of the schools in the Valley, so we have daily interaction with kids who have questions or concerns about all the issues that are impacting them,” said David Pier, executive director of the Boys & Girls Club Valley of the Moon. “There is such a need for acceptance by their peers, that it takes precedence over communication with adults. This forum gives folks some practical ways to learn how to talk to kids more effectively.”
Winders is optimistic about the future for Sonoma. “We’re really lucky,” she said, “we’re still in a preventative stage. Many other cities can only practice intervention; they’re already in an ongoing crisis. But as a community, we have to recognize that every single kid is our responsibility – we can’t pick and choose.”
The November 8 meeting is the beginning of what organizers hope will be a comprehensive series of forums. “We have plans to bring more of these programs to Sonoma Valley in the very near future,” said Witkowici, “forums that deal with how we, as a community, can wrap our arms around kids who are falling through the cracks.”