Dress codes and whatnot

Time alarm clock went off: 7 a.m. Minutes took to get dressed: 20 (due to the fact that half my outfits had solid blue shirts and if I wore them, I’d be a hazard to the safety of our school). Food ate for breakfast: Swedish pancakes (only the best ever!)
They took away our red and our blue this year at SVHS. They took away our cleavage and our thighs and our bellies. They said, in a roundabout way, girls, you are a distraction to boys. Boys are getting distracted in class because of your chest or legs that they just can’t help but stare at. Do they think that only boys can get distracted by the opposite sex? Do they think that only girls are distracting? You can get distracted looking at a poster on the wall. You can get distracted looking out the window. You can get distracted looking at your teachers, their quirks and habits, their ways of speaking. You can get distracted looking at the patterns on your desk, the tiles on the floor, the handwriting on the whiteboard, the reflections in the TV that’s pushed into the corner of the classroom. Maybe they should just cut to the chase and eliminate all the beautiful people on campus. That might help this horrific distraction problem. Sorry, you’re too good-looking, you’ll distract your classmates, you can’t come to our public school. You’re an interruption in our delicate learning system that teaches how to ace the California standardized testing so that our budget won’t be cut more than it already is.
They must have talked amongst each other, said, yes, it’s because girls’ shirts are below their armpits that boys are being distracted, it’s because of red and blue that there have been fights and “gang-related-incidents” on campus. What those incidents are, I don’t know. They’re afraid we’ll be misidentified as a gang member because of our cute red shirt or our cool blue shoelaces. Asked about examples of misidentification at school, they told a story of a kid that was beat up at Jack-in-the-Box or Taco Bell or McDonalds – I don’t exactly remember which one ­– because he was wearing a red shirt. The last time I checked, those restaurants are hardly within a mile of the high school. So yes, let’s take away blue and red from all the students at SVHS because of this incident that happened outside of school and had nothing to do with school. Yeah, sounds like a good idea.
And really, who decides what is blue and what isn’t? Who decides when it’s red and when it’s orange? There are so many shades. Where is the line that divides too dark and light enough? I talked to one of the administrators after our annual behavior expectations assembly and he said to just eliminate anything that looks blue or red. It’ll be easier, he said. Why? Why should I have to strip my wardrobe of colors that I love, colors that have been with the human race since the discovery of indigo thousands of years ago? They say it’s for our safety. Yes, taking away colors, that will definitely keep us safe from hunger and oppression and the truly frightening things in life. Ironically, the other day, I saw Mr. Moll, an administrator, whiz through my chemistry classroom, walkie-talkie in hand, wearing a blue shirt. Granted, it was plaid, navy blue lines intertwined with lighter blue. But from far way, it looked plain blue. They told us to get rid of anything that looked blue. What gives him the right to wear blue? Oh right, it’s a student dress code. The adults on campus don’t have to comply with it because they’re adults. They’re way smarter than all of us students and if some gang-banger was about to attack them, they’d know all the right moves to fend them off. An upper cut here, a few jabs there, a kick in the groin to top it all off.