Dear Dr. Forsythe: I am writing to ask for some advice from you to help me convince my mother to stop treating her little Pomeranian for diabetes and cancer. For over a year now, mom has been spending a fortune treating little Gigi, and the little dog’s health has continued to decline. Unfortunately, mom can’t see how silly it is to keep wasting money when it is obvious that Gigi keeps getting worse every couple of months. I’ve tried to let mom know that it would be more humane to just let Gigi go, but mom stubbornly insists on continuing treatment at any cost. I’ve shown mom the vet bills and credit card receipts, but she won’t budge. I’m just worried that mom will go broke before the diseases run their course. Can you offer any advice?
Frustrated daughter
Dear Frustrated: I believe it is up to your mother to decide whether or not to continue treatment for her little pet. The decision to “pull the plug” on treatment in order to save money or stay within a more “reasonable” budget should be up to her. After all, it is her money, isn’t it? It’s her pet isn’t it? While I’m sure you only have the best of intentions, continuing treatment for a pet with a guarded prognosis is still a very personal and complicated decision that only the pet’s owner can make. I haven’t heard anything about the value of the human-animal bond between your mother and Gigi. I would venture to guess that little Gigi is a precious part of her life. Perhaps you only see Gigi as a financial drain, but in actuality Gigi may be more important to your mom than you realize. Perhaps one reason your mother gets so stubborn when you mention “letting Gigi go” is because this may remind her of her own aging issues and mortality. With all the current talk of political “death panels” happening at town hall meetings in the media these days, perhaps it is time for a tender heartfelt mother-daughter conversation about the value of life, both your mother’s and her little Gigi’s. Thanks for a compelling question about an important issue.
Dr. F
Dear Dr. Forsythe : Our neighbors have recently taken quite a liking to our cat “Max.” In fact, they have begun bringing him inside their house at night and feeding him all kinds of treats. We found out he was over at their house one evening when he didn’t come home and we happened to notice him sitting in their living room window at 11 p.m.! When my husband went over to point this out, they said that Max must have snuck into their house. We got a good laugh about this because their story seemed so far fetched and hard to believe. Do you have any ideas on how we should handle this situation since it seems to be continuing?
Don’t want to share our cat
Dear Share: First I agree it seems rather unlikely that Max “snuck” into their house. Many cats, while quick to take advantage of neighbor’s free treats, pats on the head, and other pampering, rarely feel the need to “sneak” around. It is more plausible that your neighbors have fallen in love with Max, and are fawning all over him. To me, this means that the neighbors are “having an affair” with him. I think you may need to work fast if you want to salvage your relationship with your cat. I’d start by keeping him inside for a week. Make sure he stays inside even if he meows and fusses. Then when you let him out, make sure you supervise him and keep some yummy treats nearby to lure him back to your yard. If he meanders over to the neighbor’s house to “restart negotiations with them,” I’d be bold and go right over and firmly remind the neighbors that you love Max, he is your beloved pet, and you’d appreciate it if they would stop feeding him and letting him get inside their house. Then firmly pick Max up, bring him home, and plop him down in his own home. Be firm, be consistent, and soon that fickle puss will get the message that you are not willing to share him with anyone else. Incidentally, your situation reminds me about a dear client I had for many years who was also named Max, (coincidence,) who lived on Fryer Creek Drive. He stayed with his loving family, but “made the rounds” to several other houses on the street. Everyone loved Max, and many would have loved to make him their own, but his family worshipped him like no other and never would have let this happen. I sense a similar scenario for you and your Max; so be firm and you will prevail. Thanks and good luck with your great cat.
Dr. F.
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