We all have times when we want to take a bottle of wine someplace — to a restaurant or a friend’s, for dinner or a party. There is proper etiquette in each of these situations. I take wine everyplace, but I make sure I put some thought in to it, so I’m not perceived as a tactless oaf.
If I’m going out to a restaurant, I take a wine I believe is not already represented on the wine list. Otherwise it’s often perceived as an attempt at just being cheap, and I never like to upset the apple cart of the folks who are handling my food. An exception to this rule/situation/guideline is if your wine is significantly different in its vintage than what they are offering on the menu.
Regarding tipping if you do BYOB, make sure you add an amount appropriate for the wine service provided; glasses, decanter, pouring – all should be taken into consideration. Just remember, if you want to return to the same restaurant you want to be greeted with open arms, not disgruntled grumblings. And while not required, it’s always a nice gesture to offer your waiter/sommelier/wine steward a small taste of your bounty.
Visiting friends or family requires a somewhat different approach, especially if they drink wine you are not too fond of. Sometimes the hosts have a theme or menu all planned, including wines. It’s not always appropriate in such situations to take a bottle that might not fit and suggest they open it. Instead, take two bottles, one to give as a gift to the hosts, and one that you tell them you wanted to try with them, one you thought they might enjoy, too. This way, you have two chances of drinking something you like.
Oh, and if you don’t open the second bottle, Miss Manners says take it home. But the gift bottle is a goner.
For me, BYOB can cover other events, too. I’ve been to weddings where the wine was not very grandiose. My motto is, have wine, will travel, and I make sure the cooler is in the car with a few select bottles. Then at the appropriate time (when nobody is looking) I slip away to the parking lot to fill my glass, return to the party, and nobody is the wiser.
Although, if you are found out, don’t be surprised if a line forms at your car. Just don’t forget to toss your empty bottles out before you leave.
The moral of the story is, with great wine, comes great responsibility. Cheers!
Greg Taylor is the proprietor of Taylor & Norton Wine Merchants (and cigars), 19210 Sonoma Highway. taylorandnorton.com
