Skeptic's notebook: City Council election 2014

(Reader opinion by Bob Edwards). After each election it’s considered good journalistic form to congratulate the winners and thank the losers.

Faux gloss, however, is out of favor except in “Sonoma Magazine” where it’s considered poor form to even hint at the shin-kicking, eye-gouging reality of wine-country politics, lest it startle tourists and frighten the investors packing our neighborhoods with vacation rentals.

For better or worse, Sonoma’s voters have spoken. (Actually, they made little marks on papyrus-like sheets of vegetable fiber, using a short graphite-filled stick. Lacking our hi-tech sophistication, primitives in India and Kenya and much of Europe must vote electronically.)

Old-timers will smile wryly and remind winners that, “you asked for it.” They know that after a holiday hiatus, local politics becomes a contact sport. Whether losers will be happier than the winners a few months from now is anyone’s guess.

With members Laurie Gallian, Madolyn Agrimonti and Rachel Hundley, the City Council will now have a feminine majority. That’s something to applaud. We can anticipate more much-needed collaborative thinking, and entire meetings might pass without a single sports analogy.

The winners – good and talented people all – reflect Sonoma’s spectrum of voter opinion and interests. That should surprise no one, since candidates had to appeal to voters holding a variety of views. Some voters are of two minds on any subject, often on the same day and sometimes in the same sentence. Categorized by political operatives as “undecided,” such voters are known in medical literature as schizophrenic.

True to their word, some winners will strive to protect and improve the lot of ordinary residents. Others may do the bidding of the breathtakingly rich and their Chamber of Commerce allies, but that, too, is good. Council needs someone to black the boots of the Valley’s Special Interests and piously genuflect at sound of a cash register, whose free-market bon mots and incessant boosterism will serve as a painful reminder of why Sonoma doesn’t need more than one of them. OK, maybe two, max.

While the election was non-partisan, voters not under Ebola quarantine could tell the progressives from the closet conservatives. I say ‘closet’ because in a heavily Democratic county, no drug-free candidate ever answers ‘yes’ when asked: “Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Republican Party?” That’s not to say Sonoma hasn’t unwittingly elected conservatives, some of whom changed their registration to hide their sordid past. Some have served Sonoma well, and when they’ve displayed what passes for warmth and decency in conservative circles, they have brought welcomed levity to Council meetings.

In that regard, history offers cautionary tales for all new Council members flushed with victory. A pair of them once decided they would dramatically huff off the dais whenever Council discussed issues they considered time-wasting (defined as ‘anything we don’t want to talk about’). In addition to looking comically dramatic, they surrendered their voice in the matters under discussion, which then passed as ‘the vote of City Council.’ After a few huff-offs, they abandoned the tactic. Sun Tzu they were not.

Then there was the freshman who marshaled the majesty of the Constitution (and the Knights of Columbus) in a vainglorious effort to return the long-absent Nativity diorama to the Plaza. That idea died of embarrassment when a phalanx of Christian ministers opposed it as ‘divisive.’

On another occasion, a contentious attempt to ban so-called vicious dog breeds was humanely euthanized when the City attorney advised that a breed-specific ban would be illegal and Chief Sackett noted that Sonoma had no vicious dog problem. Who knew?

Such misadventures serve as warnings to all Council members not to take the face in the mirror too seriously. Indeed, with a sad 45 percent voter turnout, their supporters may be less numerous than Facebook friends.

But until they are sworn in — and stoically endure a few verbal floggings by one of the audience’s colorful ‘regulars’ — it’s hard to tell how our new solons will acquit themselves. With tasting rooms, over-development, a minimum wage increase, water, tourism, affordable housing, traffic and other WMD’s piling up under their chairs, we’ll soon learn how deft they are when all hell breaks loose. But with all three new members having declared they favor allowing leashed dogs on Montini Trail, perhaps at least that one nagging issue will be quickly be put to sleep. So to speak.

For Sonoma’s sake we wish them the best. And now, let the games begin!