Peter Pan Goes to College

For many people in Sonoma Valley, summer is almost over. School is looming ever nearer, like the ominous storm clouds that hail the coming of rain.
This time last year, I was hurrying to finish summer projects, calm and secure in the knowledge that I was going to the same school that I had gone to for the last three years. Everything would be more or less the same and so I was serene. Or at least, it looks that way to me now. Last year, I was probably suffering under the pressures of procrastination. Serene was the last thing from my mind.
I didn’t think that I’d ever really want to have a summer project, but having one would certainly make me feel better about what is to come. It would be something to think about instead of worrying.
Several questions have been plaguing me recently, while I wallow in the doldrums between the end of my summer job and leaving for college. For example: How cold does it actually get in New York state? Why do I have so much stuff? Will it actually fit in three suitcases? How am I going to get those up to my room? Actually, how am I going to actually get it to the state?
Deeper questions eat away at me as well. How am I going to actually share a room? I’m neither a night person nor a day person; my hours are as erratic as a privately owned winery. What am I going to eat? I hate cafeteria food! What am I doing, going all the way across the country? I love California, I adore Sonoma. Why am I leaving?
As my mother would remind me, I am a worrywart. Sometimes, when these questions boil up in my mind, I have to laugh at myself. Peter Pan complexes hit everyone, especially at times like these. I have to remember how excited I am to be leaving and starting a new part of my life. After all, it’s not like I’m not ready.
I have been preparing for this since I first started going to school. I don’t think there ever was a time when I didn’t want to go to college. It’s just that I didn’t actually think that I would have to leave Sonoma to have to do it. A while ago I came across an old assignment from second grade, where we were asked to list our plans for after school. I said that I would go to the SRJC for two years, then transfer to Sonoma State, not because it was easier, but because I didn’t want to leave home.
I suppose that would be easier for me though. I have never thought that Sonoma was “Slownoma.” I love it here. I love the brown hills in the summer and the way we are suddenly transported to Ireland every winter. I love to see the rolling fields of vineyards, the squat green hummocks of oak trees that dot the horizons. I love the way the air is so clear here, free from smog or humidity. I love the quirks of the town, our almost weekly events on the plaza. I even love the tourists walking unconcernedly in front of my car. I don’t really want to leave.
But I’m going. And, after I take a few deep breaths and calm down, I’m really excited about it. So I guess what I want to do is thank this valley and this town. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without Sonoma.
After all, one of my college essays was about this valley and how much I love it. Sonoma has shaped me into who I am. Without the support of this town, I probably wouldn’t be going all the way across country. Without the support of the people who have taught me and raised me, I wouldn’t even be coming close.
So, thanks to all of you, I’m ready to go. As soon as I finish packing.