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Aptly named reptile wreaks his revenge

Dear Dr. Forsythe: I noticed a nasty bite on your finger last week when I had my cat in your office for her vaccines. How did you get that? It looked like a long row along your finger.
Curious owner

Dear Curious: That was a bite wound I got last week from an eight-foot Burmese python I was taking into surgery. His name is Satan, and as I was putting a breathing tube into his windpipe to anesthetize him to perform a gastrotomy (to remove some foreign bodies in his stomach), he chomped down quickly on my right index finger with no intention of letting go. Since python teeth are needle sharp and face inward, it took several seconds for me and my technician to pry his mouth back open. At that point I had to push my finger farther into his mouth to disengage my digit from his row of teeth, and then slip my finger out. Yikes! After I stopped my bleeding, and got the tube to fit inside his mouth, I still had to operate. Fortunately, the magnificent serpent did very well in surgery and I was able to remove several impactions from his belly. He has not bitten since and is “all better now,” according to his owners. As for my finger, well, that’s another story—I think it will take a few more days to recover completely. Thanks for your concern, and yes, I still plan on seeing snakes when they are in need.
Dr. F

Dear Dr. Forsythe: Sometimes when I’m waiting at the vet’s office for my pet to come out, I can’t help but reflect on the bizarre things I hear, especially from the other people waiting for their pets. I just thought I would ask, have you heard some doozies from inside your waiting room?
HS, Sonoma

Dear HS: Yes, especially from kids. The other day one of my employees had her two boys in the hospital while she helped with some extra duties. Her kids overheard us talking about a couple of important cases, including a cat that was scheduled to have a limb amputation. Naturally they needed to know what an “amputation” was. So I explained, “That is when the doctor needs to chop off the leg because it is very sick and the pet will feel much better with only three legs.” I explained that this kitty cat had gotten stuck in a fence last week, and had been hanging upside down, so the leg needed to be amputated now.
A few moments later, another totally non-related client stepped into the lobby in order to pick up her cat, which she had left an hour earlier for a simple nail trim. As timing (and luck) would have it, my employee’s child overhead that a client was picking up her cat. So naturally he walked right up to her and asked, “Is your cat the one who got stuck upside down in a fence and now the doctor is going to chop off its leg?”
That one took a little explaining to the client, who luckily was able to laugh it off. I mean, who can really resist a sweet little curly-topped, brown-eyed three-year-old who is just trying to finesse all the clients with his charm and good looks?
Thanks for your question.
Dr. F