I’m angry that there’s so much violence on TV; I’m enraged that animals are still mistreated, I’m furious that cancer is epidemic and our money goes to war instead of wellness. I’m mad that we don’t learn communication skills in school, which makes relationships much harder. I can’t stand the amount of killing that goes on, lack of jobs, housing and ways to retire.
There’s plenty to be mad about.
I’m bugged about the state of our world. Can we change things, or what? What will it take? Problems are inside and outside of us. How do we get rid of the emotional hairballs?
Not to ruminate on the dark side, but really, how do we create glee and serenity instead of scarcity and hissy fits? Conflict isn’t easy. Bringing up difficult topics can be linked to exacerbated symptoms or irritable bowel syndrome, according to “Psychology Today.”
Ok, there’s only so much bad news, and upset bowels, anyone can take. Then again, sometimes aggravation moves us towards profound change. Anger can lead to requests, recommendations and passionate pro- activity.
Even I can blow up like a helium balloon and shock myself. Where did that come from, I wonder? Sometimes spewing comes from an important unmet need, but usually from fear or hurt. Sometimes resentment is rooted in our projections or paranoia. We rage at politics, our wives or in-laws, work place or families. It’s easy to blame. Harder to move towards peace.
But productive anger can empower us – if we use it nonviolently for ethical values and vision.
Martin Luther King said that in spite of despair, he saw something hopeful from the mountain top. His passion fueled great leadership. Sometimes our fierce side can be used effectively with the right intention. But, conniption fits and unconscious rage destroys. At home domestic violence, child abuse and other destruction still occurs. In the 20th Century more than 203 million people died as a result of war and oppression – and it doesn’t look like things are looking up.
What to do? Move to Scandinavia? The most peaceful nations in the world are primarily in Europe. Places with more social safety nets (and fewer guns) are more serene.
I believe meaningful dialogue can change the world. But, it takes courage. Think tanks with proactive outcomes are needed now. We have too much isolation and lethargy.
How can we leave a better world to the next generation? If not us, who? How? “Simple, truthful conversations where we each have a chance to speak, we each feel heard, and we each listen well,” said Margaret Wheatley. “This is how great changes begin, when people begin talking to each other about their experience, hopes and fears.”
Please see page X in this issue inviting you to a meaningful evening of conversation about anger and war, our stories, solutions and more on Thurs, Oct. 9. Please RSVP to: katybyrne@aol.com
Katy Byrne is a writer and Psychotherapist in Sonoma.
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