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Snark Infested Waters

Draw your favorite prophet

We’ve all heard the latest silliness out of Texas: Gunmen attacked a so-called art exhibit depicting cartoons of the Prophet, M******d, sponsored by right-wingers, some of whom worry that Sharia Law will be imposed on Texas by President Obama. Ironically, typical Sharia Law punishments –... Continue

Sustainable, with a hint of oak

There was an audible gasp earlier this year when thieves reportedly stole bottles of very expensive wine from a prominent Napa restaurant. Immediately, readers wondered: What can possibly make a bottle of wine worth $5,000? Longtime Valley residents know the key ingredients of expensive wine:... Continue

R-Snik™ and Old Grapes

As far as can be determined, there’s no need to panic just yet over reports about a recent lawsuit alleging there is an excessive amount of arsenic in cheap wine. Totally unscientific research (the most flexible kind) reveals the following: • Per Wikipedia, arsenic is... Continue

A better class of criminals

The Valley saw some startling armed robberies and rip-offs over the holidays, suggesting that adding more police with tanks and bazookas isn’t working.  Maybe we need a better class of criminals. Police blotters currently reflect the sad state of local thuggery. Despite being a ritzy-snooty... Continue

Foie Gras fire

When a federal judge recently lifted the ban on the sale of foie gras in California, it sure kicked up a Fuss.  To appreciate this Fuss, it’s necessary to understand some terminology: (a) Foie Gras: fattened duck liver, sold whole or as a paste, mousse... Continue

Round and roundabout

What more can be said of the proposed roundabout at Broadway and Napa Street?  For starters, how about “thanks” to the hardworking folks who made the sketches and the PowerPoint, donned Kevlar vests and drew straws to see which of them would present it to... Continue

Black Friday

If the U.S. Chamber of Commerce had its way, Congress would order every citizen to shop the day after Thanksgiving.  It has not done so, however, because (a) Congress is never in session long enough to order lunch, and (b) Americans, so desperately short of... Continue