Wednesday, Feb. 14
The need for read
A young man, apparently unclear on the concept of a “spare tire” was spotted doing laps around the library parking lot on West Napa Street – in his car. Though the exercise surely did little for his physique, it did fatten up his DMV record with a reckless driving charge (fortunately, he forewent the proverbial six-pack abs, which likely would have garnered him a DUI to boot). The driver was positively ID’d by a witness after being located by an officer near the police substation on Grove Street. The 20-year-old El Verano man admitted that, “Sometimes, I drive like an a–hole.” Though the mea culpa explained the driver’s actions, it did not excuse them, hence the misdemeanor.
Saturday, Feb. 17
Bush-whacked
At 12:53 a.m., deputies were dispatched to a tavern on the 400 block of First Street East to collar an intoxicated man in the midst of disturbing the peace. While the police were on their way, the drunken suspect decided to upgrade his mirthful mayhem-making by climbing behind the wheel of his red pickup truck and hightailing up East Napa Street. Oddly, within moments, a second call was made to police regarding a “huge crash” that left fences splintered into kindling and at least two front lawns suddenly defoliated. Officers responding to the call surmised that the red pickup truck fender that was left at the scene could not have acted on its own. Officers later found the rest of the vehicle abandoned on the 1800 block of East Eighth Street. The driver had mysteriously gone missing, so officers established a perimeter and later located the driver trying in vain to conceal himself in a bush. When queried, the 22-year-old Napa man denied having a relationship with the red pickup despite his coincidental possession of its keys and the fact that it was registered in his name. He was arrested for driving under the influence and felony hit and run.
Sunday, Feb. 18
Butter fingers
Deputies were dispatched to the 19000 block of Hwy 12 at 10:20 a.m. after a local business owner discovered that his offices had been professionally pilfered sometime the night before. Apparently, the burglar snipped phone lines, cut power cables and flipped breaker switches to the office, thus disabling the alarm system. The suspect then removed a pane of glass from a door and covered it with grease to prevent investigators from obtaining fingerprints before stealing an array of small items estimated to be worth $5,000. Investigators suspect that the culprit is likely from out of town – a Sonoma crook would likely have used olive oil instead of mere grease.
Monday, Feb. 12
Will you be(at) my Valentine?
Police were sent to the Sonoma Plaza to investigate witness reports of a husband and wife experiencing a belligerent marital meltdown. While celebrating their wedding anniversary, the couple began to spat over the allegedly poor service they experienced at a local bistro (the waiter had apparently cut off their booze supply), which led to a tussle a pace up the block as they waited for their limousine. The argument was first verbal but later became violent as the 28-year-old husband began to manhandle his 21-year-old wife. Officers separated the two and officially characterized their situation as HBD (or “has been drinking”). The husband, tattooed with a skull and the moniker “5150,” a police code meaning “mentally ill,” was arrested on domestic violence charges.
