The Sun's bold new move

In a push to become the ‘stream of consciousness’ for all things Sonoma, The Sun will begin streaming real-time Twitter and Facebook messages three times every minute, every day.

“It’s important people to know what I’m thinking 24/7, even when I don’t have much to say,” said the publisher. “Therefore I’ve delegated the job to my hip, young intern.”

Hyping the effort will be a celebrity spokesperson, a star of the film “The Social Network,” who will make personal appearances throughout the Valley.

“We couldn’t get any of the big names,” admitted the publisher. “But we scored one of the minor characters, the dude eating tuna out of a can after 36 hours of coding. Powerful stuff.”

Additionally, The Sun website will offer 14 live webcam feeds, broadcasting live from locations as diverse as the paper’s newsroom, Whole Foods’ produce section, the Plaza duck pond and the dashboard of Ken Brown’s car.

The Sun will also mount a Facebook ‘friending’ initiative, the details of which are still under wraps. Sources say the multi-media campaign will involve bribery, begging and, where available, blackmail tapes of late night antics at the Blue Moon Saloon.

“Then again,” the publisher noted, “it’s April Fools’ Day.”