Right Out of the Box, Let’s Be Perfectly Clear: Not a Day Goes By when Word On The Street is, “Where Have I Heard That Before?” Maybe it’s because Nine Out of Ten Times, we have.
Thanks to Mainstream Media, Amenglish has become an automated All-You-Can-Eat word salad, shot out of a cliché cussinart Without So Much As A Thought. It’s No Wonder we don’t listen well to each other — We’ve Heard It All Before.
(WARNING: If overcome by nausea while reading what follows, pull this page over your nose and mouth and breath normally. Ask your doctor if reading is right for you).
At The End Of The Day, Any Fool can Read Between The Lines and see the Jaw-Dropping truth that American Exceptionalism is Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be when it comes to our language, which can Bore You Out Of Your Skull. And it’s Way More than “Boots On The Ground” or “On Day One.”
We’re all complicit in Dumbing Down the daily discourse because when it comes to language, What Goes Around Comes Around. The Truth Is we’ll be able to Break The Pattern only if we don’t Do As I Say. The Handwriting Is On The Wall that unless we do (or don’t) there’ll be No Light At The End of The Tunnel and Things Could Get Worse Before They Get Better.
So when Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade. When you speak, Do Unto Others What You Would Have Them Do Unto You: Mix Things Up a Little and Choose Your Words Carefully to Add A Little Spice to the Daily Grind of communicating. It might Take A Little Thought — Breaking Old Habits Is Hard. But Buckle Down, Grit Your Teeth, Suck It Up and If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again. Sometimes It’s Enough to Remember that When You’re In A Hole, Stop Digging. Just Don’t Get Your Shorts In A Knot if you become Tongue Tied at first — Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day. And above all, If You Can’t Think Of Anything Nice To Say, Don’t Say Anything.
Beyond That, Seize The Day and If you Plan Your Work and Work Your Plan, You’ll Be Fine In No Time, because Practice Makes Perfect. Leave No Stone Unturned in your effort to Be On The Lookout to Broaden Your Horizons when speaking and writing. Follow Your Heart and Against All Odds, you’ll Hit Paydirt and avoid Shop-Worn Expressions.
For It’s Never To Late To Learn, Hit The Books, Burn the Midnight Oil and Come Hell or High Water You’ll Get The Hang Of It. In This Day And Age, just Mind Your P’s & Q’s and it’s Only A Matter Of Time before you’ll Knock It Out Of The Park Every Time You Open Your Mouth.
By All Means, don’t Throw In The Towel. Keep your Nose To The Grindstone but Every Now And Then, Stop To Smell The Roses. For Mark My Words, If You Live Long Enough, it will become As Plain As The Nose On Your Face that language is As Old As Dirt. The Long And Short Of It is that There Is Nothing New Under the Sun because The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same.
Yes, it can Blow Your Mind to realize that We’ve Heard It All Before. It’s Like, Totally Awesome, Dude. Really.
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