Older readers will remember that young Juliet Capulet fell in love with Romeo Montague, an affair complicated by the fact that their families had long been at war with each other. Weighing the implications of Romeo being a Montague, she voiced that now-famous line: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
Tesla owners can identify with Juliet. Their car is a rose that by any other name (e.g., Buick?) would still be the fine car for which they paid a fortune. Alas, Tesla is irrevocably linked with Elon Musk who, as far as your correspondent can determine, has never been described as a rose.
But Mr. Musk (not ‘Herr Musk’) did not invent the Tesla or found the company. Tesla was started by two engineers who brought Elon in as an investor, later to be the company’s fourth CEO. It’s all here at: https://www.cnbc.com/2021/02/06/tesla-founders-martin-eberhard-marc-tarpenning-on-elon-musk.html
However, for better or worse, Elon has become the face of Tesla.
That’s no comfort to owners of Tesla cars (or stock) watching videos of Teslas being smashed and burned by an element of Everyday Americans very unhappy with Elon for bullDogeing vast sections of the federal government at the behest of President Trump.
And maybe for being a little . . . eccentric? Certainly his behaviors, whenever a camera is rolling, are not typical of billionaire C-Suite executives, even those who started at the bottom by inheriting their father’s South African emerald mine fortune.
But caring readers may want to know: How to help Tesla owners – many of whom bought their cars before Elon became “a thing” – to protect their expensive cars? A gaggle of local wine and beer enthusiasts gathered recently and came up with a list of suggestions:
- Stencil “POLICE” on all four sides of the vehicle.
- Hide your Tesla in the garage.
- Drive only after dark.
- Don’t park in public.
- Buy bumper stickers (on Amazon): “I bought this before we knew Elon was crazy.”
- Donate your Tesla to charity and claim a tax deduction.
- Most important: Pay your auto insurance premiums.
Some suggested suing Elon for inciting damage to Tesla cars, and for causing their owners emotional distress. Others argued that the increasingly comical legal system would only aggravate an owner’s emotional distress. E.g., See: “No One Is Above The Law,” except the President when performing his official duties.
Still others noted that suing a billionaire able to buy the best lawyers and/or the worst judges would cost way more than a new Tesla.
Thankfully, as this piece goes to press, there have been no reports of vandalism, fires, bombings, etc., of Tesla cars or dealerships in the Valley. This is due to the strong personal ethic of our Valley residents, and the fact that the nearest Tesla dealership is in Santa Rosa, where several hundred protesters recently staged an anti-Musk/Trump demonstration, complete with signs and gestures.
Alas, innocent Tesla owners are in a bind not of their own making. The last car so tainted by politics was the Volkswagon. Per Google:
“Volkswagen’s origins are deeply intertwined with the Nazi regime, as the company was founded in 1937 by the Nazi trade union organization, the Deutsche Arbeitsfront, with the goal of creating an affordable ‘people’s car.’ During World War II, production shifted to military vehicles, and the company relied heavily on forced labor from concentration camps.”
Elon really needs to quit that ‘Nazi salute’ stuff.
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