It was a magical night on the Sonoma square at the last farmers market. Light rainy drizzle didn’t discourage anyone. The night sky was lit up with candles on tables as winter descended on us. The music and children played. Everyone seemed so grateful to have a final good bye to summer, even with wet air threatening to stop us. I was impressed with our town’s persistence. Rain did not end the band or shut us down!
Tumbling out of bed the next morning, after that sparkling night, my feet thumped to the floor. Ker plunk – it was hard to wake up to our government “shut down.”
Trying to remain resilient in such scary times is no picnic. But, humor helps. Even our comedians pop back up after being bounced out. I had a good belly laugh watching generals flown in from around the world, looking flat faced and peeved. Flailed in public about not getting fat! No more donuts for them! I howled, rolling around on the rug like a jumping puppy.
It seemed hilarious after having spent my life as a woman worried about the next calorie, weight gain or loss. How farcical and such folly seeing the “fat” word tossed at these strong men. Oh well, who knows, maybe Dr. Oz will fix them.
In these unpredictable times, it’s tough trying to remain resilient. Life seems much more like a bowling alley than a happy dog leaping for a ball. We citizens sit like a bunch of bowling pins, waiting for the next heavy ball to be hurled at us daily. But we are Sonoma strong. We can do this.
In “The Book of Hope: A Survival Guide for Trying Times,” Jane Goodall wrote, “We face the sixth great extinction, climate change, loss of forests, poverty…. But hope is about taking action in spite of it all. It’s about saying, I will do my bit. And when we join together, those bits become a movement.”
Getting back up after being knocked down is necessary for us all. We see steadfast humans serving the public every day. It’s the hard-working humans at the cash registers, the mail carriers and grape pickers, the nursing care staff, the first responders, the Uber drivers and waiters and so many more. We see persistence in the comedians who refuse to be muzzled and many more courageous people. It’s the people making daily phone calls to the judiciary and government, requesting sane and safe laws. It’s brave leaders who stand up for compassionate policies. It’s my clients who are courageous in facing themselves in therapy and trying their best to become whole and authentic human beings. It’s you and me doing what we can to serve somebody every day.
I understand, deep down, the hard work of believing in ethics and justice. One of those moments in my life came during the ‘08, ‘09 foreclosure years. I suspect most of us have phases of life with monumental challenges. I was fighting to keep my home, among millions of others who lost theirs.
I held on by my fingernails. Day after day with documents, paperwork, phone calls and auction letters. Constant conversation with the bankers as they were fired, lied, disappeared and re-appeared. What got me through it? Persistence and listening to the tiniest voice inside, about what was good and fair. And finally, two people showed up at Chase bank, heard me and read my letters. The “portfolio manager” after two years, said she “ loved me.” Seriously. She said that! I can only imagine it was my letters telling her my dogs needed a home! Not everyone had my luck, but all we can do is stand up and keep taking the next step, every time we’re thrown down.
Hold your longings close to the chest and keep a candle lit. Grieve, take a deep breath, then keep helping living beings. As Jane Goodall said, do your “bit.”
And keep your eye on the bouncing ball.
Katy Byrne, MA, LMFT is a Sonoma psychotherapist, and author at ConversationswithKaty.com.
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