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Recommendations for the mourning

Dear Dr. Forsythe: I have been feeling angry ever since my sweet little Ridgeback was spayed three months ago. I don’t think I will ever forgive myself, or the vet, for doing this to her. I left her in the morning to have her operation, I called an hour later and told them I changed my mind and to stop everything. I was told that it was already done and there was no way to undo the surgery. Later on when I went to pick her up I told them I did not want to pay (at least not the full amount) since after all I called when I changed my mind. Not only did they make me pay the whole amount, they didn’t even say they were sorry for making the mistake and going through with the operation in the first place. I am not sure what I should do now, but I am considering lodging a complaint against them and switching to a better vet who is more considerate.
No puppies in my future

Dear No puppies: I know that I should tread lightly and be respectful, but when a client brings in a surgical patient and drops her off for a spay (and presumably fills out the paperwork authorizing the procedure? I’m assuming your veterinarian had you do this?), then calls an hour later saying, “I’ve changed my mind, put down the scalpel!” – I feel very sorry for that doctor and staff. You forced them into a game of “should I or shouldn’t I” with your pet’s uterus. At first I thought your question was some kind of gag until I got to the part where you mentioned that you are seriously considering lodging a complaint against your vet and switching to a different veterinary hospital over the incident! This situation either represents the worst case of poor communication between veterinary hospital and client ever, or you are pouring something other than milk over your cornflakes for breakfast! It seems to me that it is not an option to call an hour after you drop your pet off for surgery and then demand that the completed procedure be undone. And then to ask for a refund or discount because the doctor and staff were prompt and performed the spay immediately after you dropped your pet off seems ludicrous! It would have been one thing if you had changed your mind and come back in or called back 5 minutes after you left the pet – but after an hour it safe to assume that the pet is checked in and OK for surgery. I still have not met that fabulous and friendly veterinary doctor who can replace a previously removed uterus for an upset client, but when I do, I will surely hire her and tell her about this extraordinary experience you went through. For although we are all well trained in veterinary school, “parting of the Red Sea” is not on the syllabus. Moses we are not, just regular folks like you – only from the sound of it, we vets may be a little less demanding!
Thanks for sharing your story.
Dr. F

Dear Dr. Forsythe: My cat recently passed away and I wanted him cremated. The ashes were supposed to be returned to me in a special urn. I waited and waited for over two months, and now it seems they lost her body. I am so unhappy I feel like a part of my soul is gone and never coming back. How could this have happened, and how can I ever get over this?
Mourning in Napa

Dear Napa: My dear friend, this sounds like a terrible problem that probably happens every few years due to circumstances that are hard to pinpoint. The private cremation system involves tagging the late pet’s body and tracking and certifying and sanitizing the cremation area. Much like the Neptune Society, it is important that the process be accurate and secure so that the unthinkable does not occur. Nevertheless, very rarely, a body can get misplaced or be grouped into the wrong group. If this happens a pet can be cremated in a group rather than as an individual, and the ashes cannot be returned. I know it is small consolation, but my heart goes out to you as you search for some way to deal with the grief. I suggest you speak with your veterinarian and veterinary staff, as I’m sure you have, ask them for an explanation and request that they look into the matter. Also, be open and ask that they review their system of handling bodies and request that they contact the company they use for cremations to do the same thing. A good veterinary hospital will make every effort to maintain systems and protocols to avoid problems from occurring. And if there is a big setback like this, they should try very hard to improve the system – this effort can alleviate some of the pain and unhappiness you feel and help prevent anyone else from having to go through it. Once this is done, why don’t you go out and plant a pretty tree or raised bush in honor of your pet? And be assured, both I and my readers will say a quiet prayer for you and your kitty cat.
Dr. F

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