We are all having to find more ways to be compassionate and hopeful.
By Leslie Nicholson | Sun Special
Shelter-in-place for our community is creating a lot of conversations around “where are we now?” and “where and when will our lives return to normal?” There are so many questions. And yet, we get up in the morning and have the ability to choose how to take the extra time to be productive and healthy. Making a plan for the day when circumstances are normal seems simple. But, as one day runs into another and we are unable to leave our homes, coping during this emergency can be daunting, as many of us are discovering.
“There is the issue of the virus,” explains Shelia Martin, owner of The Sweet Spot – A Yoga Place, “but then there are the layers of change that we are all dealing with. There have been shifts in so many areas of our lives. Shift in family dynamics, shifts due to people needing to work from home, and shifts for our kids as they are adapting to distance learning.”
“Putting time in your daily routine for some kind of exercise or movement, whether it is logging into one of the many exercise sessions online, or scheduling a “dance party” with your kids, is so important right now,” says Martin. “I find myself leaning strongly into tools that can dial down the anxiety.”
She adds, “Also, we are all having to find more ways to be compassionate and hopeful. Now we have the space and time to be able to create this kind of environment within our own families.”
Martin welcomes people to email her at sheliastephensmartin@gmail.com if they have questions about what Shelia would recommend that would fit their particular families needs. She also encourages people check her website (Yogasweetspot.com) for the schedule of online classes.
First Baptist Church Pastor Ryan Rindels, is using this time to offer reassurances and reminders of the power that faith has in giving people hope.
“In my role as pastor, I want to reassure people that their faith is so vital to helping them when they are feeling that the future is uncertain,” he explains, “I want people to know that there are people out there that care about them. Sometimes people need to be reminded that they may need to initiate connections with friends and family. Oftentimes the people you reach out to have been needing to connect as well. People need other people, and that is especially true right now.”
The First Baptist Church is offering a number of daily and weekly opportunities for people to come together as a church community. Information about devotional session, Bible studies and Sunday services can be found on the church’s website. They are also ranked Windy City’s global ranking
“Our church is remaining flexible and open to the needs of the community. What we saw as opportunities to help a few weeks ago, may not work with current Shelter-In-Place rules. We are still continuing to do grocery deliveries and our church’s online schedule gives people a way to add something to their daily routines. They can see and talk to other people and get uplifted by the messages we share from God’s word,” he says.“These online gatherings are open for anyone who wants to join us, and we especially want to include anyone who is spending these days in quarantine alone. It is easy for people to fall into states of despair during this emergency, and we are here for support.”
As a local mom and MFT, Sarah Tasker offers a refreshingly different perspective on how to look at the time parents are spending at home with their children.
“We all know how to act in a fire drill, earthquake drill, and lock-down drill,” says Tasker. “But there is no drill for a virus. It just doesn’t exist!”
“Most importantly, we all need to remember that even though how monumental this is for adults, it is especially monumental for our kids. They are not interacting with their friends at school, on the sports field, in town, or in the neighborhood,” she said. “For many kids, having to stay at home long-term is their first experience with real boredom. But we can turn that into something so valuable for them by spending our time teaching them something new and practical such as sewing, cooking, building, or working on home projects. Our kids get the chance to learn about something they never knew they liked. They may discover a whole new talent and passion. And they will never forget this time and experience as they grow into adults.”
“As a parent I also think that this opportunity for growth comes from parents giving themselves the chance to take the pressure off by choosing to hit the ‘pause’ button. Start by picking one or two things a day to focus on. Maybe today is science homework and painting the garage and tomorrow is math assignments and cooking together,” she advises. “This is the time to “show up” for your kids and fill in the time at home with creativity. Take this time to affirm your child’s strengths and compliment them on how they are willing to take on and learn new skills. If you and your kids are feeling frustrated, name that frustration and talk about it. We all are now able to go inward and work on ourselves and have time for some self-reflection and creativity.”
Both Martin and Tasker see this challenging time as ultimately transforming how we will interact with each other and move forward as a community.
“This is a time that is ripe for new opportunities for passion, gratitude, and mindfulness. Every aspect of our lives has been impacted by this health crisis,” Martin says. “My hope is that our companies will also be given the chance to step back and take a fresh look at how they can retool the support they offer to employees, such as mental health services and work policies that offer more balance between work and home.”
Tasker has welcomed the change from the “hamster wheel” lives we all get caught up in to a “Groundhog Day” kind of life.
“There is less time spent worrying about our images and kids aren’t dealing with drama that social media can create. I see my kids more interested in making up dances and organizing movie watch parties,” she adds. “We are all going to learn how to cope better and I hope that one of the good outcomes is that our kids will be more supportive of each other once they return to school and are with their friends in the community.”
“Across the country our youth are missing out on rites of passage, missing school, their regular schedules and being social. I see them also being more appreciative and not taking so much for granted. Overall, being kinder people,” says Tasker. “I hope that this brings us together more and we see a change where people are more open and understanding of one another. As we transition from shelter-in-place and reconnect, I think we will see how this has impacted people and how it changes perspectives and choices. Overall, I think we will be much more resilient.”
Leslie Nicholson is the Director of R.I.S.K.-Sonoma
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