It’s definitely the “holidaze,” inviting feelings and emotional hairballs of all kinds! It’s been a rumbling year, pulling me toward some memories I wish to forget. The season lurks around us, with longing for what is lost and wanting more of whatever we don’t have.
On the up side, there’s the thrill of good music and the aliveness of an autumn afternoon when the maple trees fire burgundy and red, almost lighting up the sky. The season is fun with the fa la la la la and folderol of it all. There’s good cheer, but also plenty of bah humbug to go around.
It’s the season of both sad silent nights and good tidings. Reading about millions of dollars spent senselessly on wrecking balls at the white house, with their big balls, it’s dismaying. You could certainly deck the hall with those.
Then there are visits with old friends, twinkly lights on neighborhood houses and darling dogs bouncing along beside their families. But, sometimes I want to tear my hair out or color it bright neon green at midnight, swirling in front of the mirror, after watching the Epstein files stories and hearing of people zip tied by ICE and taken to faraway places. (Yes, I do believe it’s important to stay informed). But thank God I didn’t buy that hair dye.
So, to soothe my soul I went to yoga, the humble warrior pose always relieves my angst. Calmer after, my eyes bobbed out of my head when yoga class prices rose sky high. Then the doctor’s office called to tell me my health insurance was cancelled. Still, ‘tis the season to be jolly and a friend called to celebrate the season, cheering me. But, life’s relentless ups and downs continue. Later I called Xfinity/Comcast to try to lower my ghastly bill, was put on hold into infinity. I did finally get a deal – ten dollars off a month! Ah, then came the one-year contract to keep me tethered to them. God rest ye merry gentlemen. Maybe that song applies to the one-percent.
Not defeated, I turned the hour glass upside down to find some humor. The wondrous Judith Viorst had me quickly giggling with some whimsical snippets in Remembrance of Christmas Past:
“On Christmas Eve we started to assemble the easy-to-assemble telescope and fire truck with forty-seven pieces. The kitten threw up tinsel on the carpet. The fire truck collided with the tree. One rug shampoo, several Band-Aids and scotch before breakfast. I bought my husband shirts – wrong size, wrong colors, and ties he said he couldn’t be caught dead in. He bought me a Teflon frying pan and “The Weight Watchers Cook Book”.…but Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, I think.” Thank God for witty thinkers.
Still, I was feeling fat and reminded of gluten intolerance after munching on mixed nuts and sipping egg nog. So, I decided to seek some wisdom for us all. Here it is: when all else fails, remember, all we can do is take the next step.
Like, this week, I wanted to spread some goodwill, so I sent a tiny text to an old friend who moved to New York. “Thank you for the warm socks you gave me one year. I still look deep in my drawer for them every winter, then I swoon once they’re on my feet. I’m always so cold in December.” A chuckle came across the miles when he wrote back, “You sure get the life out of a pair of socks.” So, just take the next step and remember – a little gesture goes a long way.
Katy Byrne, MA, LMFT, is a Psychotherapist and author in Sonoma, at ConversationswithKaty.com.
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