One of my last columns got a lot more response than usual. I suppose everyone related to the topic of lost socks in the dryer. I had hoped that the topic was bigger than just that – about how we avoid and hide from talking things out, either in conflict or doing civic engagement.
A local, Tim Eschelman, gave me permission to print the answer… lost socks end up in the curves of fitted bottom sheets! It’s a fun approach to a very serious question: when it comes to relationships or politics, where is everybody? I talk to a lot of people who say, “I just don’t want to read the news, it’s too stressful. And I can’t even talk to my brother about it.”
“Hey,” I usually say, “wait until a detention center is built next door, or a dictatorship removes even more of your freedom, groceries, gas or housing.” How many of us are holding onto rents and homes with our fingernails?
Our “leader” refers to war with language like, “They haven’t received enough pain yet.” (as reported by CNN analyst Barak Ravid). Hey, we’re facing a critical election in November and we’re avoiding politics? It’s not just a lost sock – it’s America.
As I vented, “Where is everybody?” a friend asked a good question, “Where am I?” I realized I feel lost myself. I said, “I feel like an insect running from Raid spray.”
Hey, nobody wants to be jailed, shot or become more isolated in society. It’s scary to speak up. But without freedom of speech, concern for our mental and physical welfare, affordability and safety for us all, where are we?
I get it. I too feel like I’m too old or busy to get more involved. I can’t keep up with house repairs and everything else. But, at a deeper level, have I also disappeared? In her book, “Silencing The Self,” Dana Crowley Jack writes of women shutting down their power. “Through voice, we locate ourselves in the world and can be heard and found. When a woman fears the consequences of voicing her own perspective – whether from an abusive husband, a business that expects her to perform just like men, a classroom that negates her orientation, a culture that has devalued her – then we become quiet in order not to draw negating attention.” (And yes, this can apply to all genders.)
Is this a collective, cultural, political death we are allowing? We are seeing everything we hold dear threatened, slowly decimated or about to be upturned. Another pal gave me a printed subscription to The Onion for my birthday this year. In the July/Aug, 2026 edition, one citizen was asked in the regular feature “American Voices,” What makes you proudest to be an American? The Onion answer was, “The feeling of common purpose I get from enriching the billionaire class.”
So, there you have it! Whether we’re ignoring the shooting of kids in Seattle, pardoning violent people to work with ICE, or whatever the issue is in front of you, what can we do? Ask yourself what you are hesitant to do that would mend the world a bit? That’s how positive change happens. I have joined Braver Angels in their endeavor to bring different political views (red and blue and other) together to hear each other out. It’s been fascinating, as is any courageous movement.
You might make creative signs for the marches, or join a school board, or learn tools for difficult dialogue. Read my last book, “From Conflict to Communication,” or study podcasts on how to work through differences. Then try talking to your sister-in-law.
Or, are we all like lost socks, stuck in a hiding place?
Be First to Comment