Coming of age, again — one woman’s second Bat Mitzvah

By Jonathan Farrell

Coming of age is an important milestone in everyone’s life, and people all over the world and throughout history have had ways to commemorate it. In Judaism, the tradition is known as the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Bar Mitzvah is for boys and Bat Mitzvah is for girls, usually at age 12 or 13.

The ceremony announces to the congregation that a child is entering into adulthood. And it signifies that the individual is responsible for her or his actions, especially regarding the practice of the principles and teachings of the religion.

“I had my Bat Mitzvah in Chicago when I was 12 years old and it was really one of the most memorable days of my life,” shares Sonoma’s Bonnie Walner. “I always dreamed of recommitting my vows to Judaism someday.”

That day came last week, as she marked the 60th anniversary of her Bat Mitzvah with a reaffirmation ceremony at Congregation Shir Shalom in Sonoma.

“The experience was truly over the top,” she exclaims. While festive, the service held for her a deep spiritual meaning. “It was an amazing and magical experience.”

Walner is not alone in having an anniversary, or as she calls it a “re-dedication,” service. Over the past decade people at congregations throughout the United States have chosen to celebrate the anniversary of their Bat or Bar Mitzvah.

According to Rabbi Steve Finlay, “It’s not uncommon to hear of an adult once again come before the community and re-dedicate themselves to some of the many holy aspects of living a Jewish life. Just last year, I was honored to study weekly with Richard Meyers, also from our congregation, who became a Bar Mitzvah at the age of 93!”

Preparing for Bar or Bat Mitzvah is demanding. The person coming of age must learn Hebrew and be able to not only recite it but read and understand it.

As Rabbi Finlay explains it, “Bonnie will probably have put in more than 100 hours of study time if you consider all that she’s taking on – learning Hebrew and to chant from ancient text is no easy task, but she’s doing wonderfully. The process for her is truly a re-affirmation of faith, combined with an awesome journey into the deeper, more meaningful values of our Jewish traditions and of life itself.”

Seeking to know and understand The Torah can be a lifelong quest, one Walner embraces. “Studying the Torah and the teaching of Judaism has definitely helped shape the person I am today, “ she says. ”One of the greatest messages from the Torah has been to treat others as you would like to be treated. That definitely is the way of life I have chosen.”

For Walner it’s more about bringing the practice of Judaism closer to her and to those that she loves. “My goal is to grow intellectually and spiritually as the years pass by.”

And yes, after the service there was a wonderful gathering. “I was honored and blessed to celebrate this special day with several people in our community and old friends who came from near and far to be with me,” Walner said.

Planning the festivities “really lifted our communal spirit,” Rabbi Finlay said. “Jews love to prepare for a ‘Simcha’ (happy occasion). Ceremonies give meaning and structure to yearnings from our heart. They are an expression of both labor and love.”