No free lunch, but free advice

I don’t mind when the self-righteous, smug, condescending rightwing cretins bad-mouth liberals and whine that their free-market is being trampled by Regulations Barbarians and bleeding heart do-gooders who care about the rights of people other than white Christians. Hey, it’s a free country I’m told and if there’s one thing true Americans value above all else it’s the god-given right to discriminate against someone, especially those not smart enough to be born here.

What I do mind is these same spokespeople for Truth, Justice and the American way say the same old tired crap over and over without a semblance of wit or accuracy.

Liberals love taxes. Liberals want to steal your money and give it to poor people. Liberals gonna get your mama.

Okay Republicans/conservatives/libertarian a__holes, whatever you’re called, let’s review. Liberals don’t love taxes anymore than you do, but liberals understand – now try to grasp this – that in a social society certain things that serve and benefit EVERYONE, e.g., government, libraries, roads, schools, energy infrastructure, etc., need to be provided or there is no civil society to begin with, the structure upon which we all operate. That can’t be too difficult to comprehend.

Yes, liberals do care about other people besides their immediate families and pets, and they do care about fairness, the underdog, a pollution-free environment and all that other stuff that drives rightwing schmucks bonkers if only because it so pisses you off. It’s not our real motivation, but it is an added benefit.

Here’s my suggestion to all my brethren and sistren on the right: Don’t take social security or Medicare when it roles around. Don’t take any of those nice tax deductions that the demon liberals have provided for you. Send your little buggers to private schools that’ll teach them to be just like you and that the universe was created by some (white) dude in the sky 6,000 years ago. Stop driving on our roads and build your own and take care of and financially support all the children that’ll be born because you don’t want birth control. Okay? Got a deal?

Until such time, keep your uninformed, half-baked, dumb-ass opinions to yourselves, or if you feel the urge to barf them up on the rest of humanity do it with a shred of cleverness, style and humor. No offense, I say this to you with love because I’m a liberal and I only want what’s best for you.