Snark Infested Waters ~ Bob Edwards

Bob Edwards


Burning heretics, drowning witches

Posted on May 10, 2019 by Bob Edwards

Thank goodness the most recent Sonoma brouhaha seems to be winding down.

That was the one where an arriviste in town learned that a sizable number (i.e., “mob”) of her Valley neighbors were Not Amused to find her now-deleted Facebook postings in which she expressed her ‘disgust’ for LGBTQ Americans and their ‘agenda.’   (NOTE: At press time, a requested copy of the Agenda had not arrived from LGBTQ headquarters in Gomorrah, CA.)

Her chances of being named Sonoma’s next Alcaldessa were not improved by the accompanying pics of her and her husband at President Trump’s inaugural.  

It was all received as expected by a community that voted overwhelmingly against Trump and which misses no opportunity to make clear – via social media, Plaza demonstrations and spitting — its disappointment with his (a) policies, (b) character, and (c) continued heartbeat.

That the couple could have had an entire row of seats to themselves at the least-attended inaugural in recent history should have been Clue #1 that her politics and feelings about LBGTQ Americans would not be popular in Sonoma, where the Rainbow Flag has flown over City Hall (Clue #2) and Republicans are on the Endangered Species list (Clue #3), making it illegal to hunt them.

To be fair, her FB posts were some two years old and were deleted before or shortly after the fecal matter hit the whirling social media fan.  Alas, as others have discovered, social media posts are never really deleted.

Commendably, in a statement issued to a local newspaper-not-to-be-named, her husband took pains to make clear that all of the couple’s recently purchased local businesses will continue to employ workers and welcome customers of all sexes/colors/origins/beliefs & persuasions.  Translation: Pay no attention to my wife.

But there was no hint that she had Repented of the views reflected in her now-deleted Facebook posts.

Repenting – i.e., a Confession of Error accompanied by a symbolic act of penance has been the only FDA-approved Moral Purgative since medieval times, when failure to Repent had serious consequences:  heretics lit ablaze and witches drowned or forced to make the ‘Walk of Shame.’ (Google ‘Cersei Walk of Shame’; we’ll wait).

Coming from an ordinary Deplorable, the now-deleted postings would normally elicit little more than a yawn.   After all, Trump supporters are notoriously not Nobel Laureates and with a presidency awash in sewage, few would notice yet another troll floating by.   

In this case, however, the Flames of Outrage seemed fanned by other considerations.  Namely, the couple is:

(a) Not Sonoma-born, a stain all Newcomers learn can only be expunged by crucifixion,

(b) Excessively rich,

(c) Buying and rehabilitating beloved and (so-far) well-patronized commercial properties, and

(d) BFF partners with a notorious Far-Right operative whose views are decidedly opposite those of countless Valley residents, including those in Sonoma where, at press time, the couple’s home was not yet ringed with protesters toting torches and bubbling tar pots.

Thankfully, however, Sonoma has an embracing Progressive streak irrationally committed to Kindness Toward All and Diversity.  Those with Stone Age socio-political views –- racism, sexism & other Bible-approved hatreds –- are welcome grist for the mill of that Commitment.  

Already the fuss has abated, largely disappeared from social media and seems confined to small book clubs reading Marie Antoinette’s bestseller, View From the Guillotine. Soon the Offending Couple will be able to dine openly anywhere in the Valley, unaccompanied by a food-taster.


2 thoughts on “Burning heretics, drowning witches

  1. Too bad we all forget so soon. Too bad they and their business partner got by with some meaningless comment about having a discussion. There has been no discussion on their part and as you say, all is soon forgotten. We will just go on giving our money to them and they will be hugely successful and most likely continue to fund anti woman and anti gay causes with that money.

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