Notwithstanding the work of 30 global environmental conferences and Sonoma County’s strict recycling rules (‘No tampons in the blue can’), climate change is definitely coming.
But not to worry. Our planet has gone through many climate changes in its 4.5 billion-year history, each of which has vastly altered global weather, landscapes, ecosystems and inhabitants (See: Ice Age, dinosaurs). Yet our Earth still spins merrily around the sun, teeming with life.
We humans have been around for less than one percent of Earth’s existence. While the coming climate disaster is currently newsworthy, it won’t be any worse than previous global climate disasters (See: Noah’s Ark). But if past is prologue, new critters will replace any that go extinct. Indeed, scientists say that 99 percent of all forms of life that ever lived on Earth are now extinct. See: www.extinctanimals.org.
So, big-picturewise, catastrophic climate change is No Big Deal. The impending one is not being caused by a wobble in the Earth’s orbit; or a massive asteroid impact; or a biblical flood. It is being caused by Homo Sapiens, a species that has routinely extincted countless life forms, such as wooly mammoths, the dodo bird, carrier pigeons, the SunCalifornia grizzly – the list is long. Even basic chemical elements on the Periodic Table – from actinium (Ac) to molybdenum (Mo) and chardonnay (hmmm) – are not safe. That said, the terminally religious may embrace humanity’s extinction as Rapturous.
And in any event, avoiding disasters that kill millions is out of character for humans, who have perfected the art of killing, beginning with the world’s first murderer, Cain, who slayed/slewed his own brother, Abel. The Good News is that the planet has always survived such tragedies, and new life forms constantly appear.
Meanwhile, there’s Life to be lived, Money to be made and more immediate dangers to worry about. Dangers such as:
- The next pandemic: Will it be ebola? Covid? Something contracted by kissing across party lines? With vaccine mandates lifted, might we see the return of the Black Death, bubonic plague, polio?
- Mass shootings: Nothing heightens the excitement of an evening out or a day at school like the possibility of a mass shooting. In a nation with 440 million guns and awash in testosterone, the anticipation is palpable.
- Slavery: As Supreme Court conservatives continue to shrink Constitutional rights (e.g., to abortion) a revived slave trade – perhaps selling pricey white guys in gold chains! – could drive Wall Street to new heights.
- Stupidity: Still no vaccine for this affliction .
- Religious nationalism: Returning the nation to the Family Values of our Founders, when women birthed at least one child before the 5th grade.
But the future is not all grim, and it might even be cheaper. Robots taking our jobs won’t need expensive salaries, Social Security, food, schools or paid time off to attend pricey Taylor Swift concerts.
Of course, without humans around, those robots will only be useful to . . . Whom? And for What? Not being ‘alive,’ will they even care about climate change? Clean water? Bad Bunny? Gifted with advanced AI, perhaps they will discover the reason they are taking up space on the planet – something we humans still haven’t figured out.
As for all those smelly woolly mammoths, pesky carrier pigeons, goofy dodo birds, grumpy grizzlies – does anyone really miss them? No. If they reappeared tomorrow they – like every sweet dog in our Valley – would immediately be banned from Sonoma’s Plaza.
Catastrophic Climate Change? Extinction of the entire human race??? Meh. The planet has seen worse.
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